1st Edit (Rouen) Evaluations

4/23/2019 Evaluation (for the new edit) by sograves (talk)

Spelling/Grammar

Meets standard. No spelling or grammar errors, but a few awkward sentences.

Language

Meets standard. Again, just a few awkward sentences. For example:

"As the city fell under different rulers, the lasting architecture reflected their reign as well." The "as well" is a bit weird. It's so far away from the reflection of trade culture in the architecture that it's being compared to in the previous sentence.
"Gothic elements of architecture in Rouen still stand today--a predominant example being the renowned Rouen Cathedral." "a predominant example being" could just be replaced with "like" or "such as." It sounds a bit briefer and more encyclopedic.

Organization

Nearly meets standard. Your ideas should flow pretty well from one to the next, but some of the connections you want to make aren't clear. Like, what kinds of architecture were reflective of the flourishing trade culture in Rouen? Or, what about the building of churches and cathedrals reflected William the Conqueror's reign? Just needs some transitionary info to make it an excellent paragraph in this regard.

Coding

Perfect, exceeds standard (as far as I can tell).

Validity

Meets standard. All solid info.

Completion

Nearly meets standard. Read what I wrote under organization, I feel like they're pretty connected.

Relevance

Exceeds standard. There was nothing about the architecture in Rouen in the original article, despite the apparent wealth of architecture there.

Sources

Meets standard. The source for those photographs is dope.

Citations

Nearly meets. They're in all the right places, BUT! just to be safe, I'd put a citation under the second photograph, too.

References

Meets standard. Pretty sure it's all solid.

Points

37/40 or 92%. This seems VASTLY improved from whatever you had before (I didn't see it). So great job on that! Keep on improving, you'll kill this course.

4/22/2019 Evaluation by Siarra360 (talk) 22:01, 22 April 2019 (UTC)

Points: 45/40
Grade: A

Spelling/Grammar

Exceeds Standards Everything is spelled correctly. I see you removed the "Claud" Claude Monet, good work!

Language

Exceeds Standards Great job restructuring your sentences to reflect the Subject Verb Object rule. For example, "The town (subject) was a rich, flourishing hub of trade (verb) on the River Seine and the architecture reflected this in its buildings (object)."

Organization

Exceeds Standards Good reworking this!

Coding

Exceeds Standards

Validity

Exceeds Standards Good sources and way to go with the image.

Completion

Exceeds Standards

Relevance

Exceeds Standards There was not an architecture section before and there should definitely be one.

Sources

Exceeds Standards

Citations

Exceeds Standards

References

Exceeds Standards I had to search for that number 1 and reach out to you; I'm glad you helped me see it. Good job reworking this. I was very impressed with how you went from a few sentences with no sources to a well-created article section.

5/7/2019 Evaluation by DrMichaelWright

DrMichaelWright (talk) 06:09, 8 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

The picture is a really nice touch!

Points: 37/40
Grade: 92.5%

Spelling/Grammar

Meets standard.

"... William the Conquerorwas of the Catholic religion..." missing space.

Language

Meets standard.

Organization

Meets standard.

Coding

Nearly meets standard. I see how you are experimenting with category codes, but this is not how that is done. (Putting that colon in there makes it a link, rather than adding it to a category. It's also not a good idea to add a sandbox article to a category.

Validity

Nearly meets standard.

"For example, William the Conquerorwas of the Catholic religion." Weren't everyone in those days? How is that specifically reflected in the architectures, as compared to otherwise?

Completion

Meets standard.

Relevance

Meets standard.

Sources

Meets standard.

Citations

Meets standard.

References

Nearly meets standard. Your references are formatted, but using the Wikipedia citation engine would help them match a preferable style. There is another thing that I am missing, however. When you are citing specific bits of information from specific spots in long texts, then it is good practice to tell the discerning reader where exactly the information can be found. Don't let them wade through long texts to find it. Give them a page number, or a paragraph number for non-paginated sources.

2nd Edit (Amsterdam) Evaluations

05/16/2019 Evaluation by sograves

Points: 34.5/40
Grade: 86.3%

Spelling/Grammar

Nearly meets standard Grammatically sound, but there are a few hiccups. For example, you misplaced a comma in “2,00,000.” Also, “Most of these languages have Italian influence, but are not limited to French influences as well” doesn’t make much sense. Perhaps you meant that they’re not limited to Italian influence and have French influence as well?

Language

Does not meet standard Very nearly there. Second sentence of your first paragraph, “...Maghreb; Maghreb being a generalization…” reads poorly. Maybe strike out “Maghreb being”? Your second paragraph borders on sympathetic (which, you know, the Berbers do face a horrific plight and it’s hard not to sympathize), but the encyclopedic tone is cold and distant. Instead of “lengths and trials are required” write something like “face a complicated process to obtain a visa”?

Organization

Meets standard

Coding

Meets standard

Validity

Meets standard Solid info, cool to do a deep-dive on a specific group of people within the city.

Completion

Meets standard.

Relevance

Nearly meets standard Kind of goes back to what I was saying earlier about this being its own subheading. Would be more relevant then than if it were just tacked onto the immigration section.

Sources

Nearly meets standards Most sources seem quite old. Is there no new info on Berber migration/tribulations? Old sources are probably fine for the historical stuff, though.

Citations

Exceeds Standard Bravo, as we say in Dutch.

References

Nearly meets standard Reference 8 mentions the price and kind of book it is? Doesn’t seem particularly useful. And from what I’ve seen on other peer reviews, you might want to get more specific on the page numbers.

5/15/2019 Evaluation by siarranielsen

Points: 32/40
Grade: 80%

Spelling/Grammar

Exceeds Expectations Perfect adherence to standard spelling and grammar rules.

Language

Exceeds Expectations Good work reading like a formal encyclopedia.

Organization

Nearly meets standard Your assignment is very short with limited information. Dr. Wright has written about this in the past by his example when There are numerous short paragraphs, representing unrelated snippets of information. You need to write six- eight or more sentences to equal a paragraph.

Coding

Nearly meets standard Move citation number four to a better location. It's floating around alone. Dr. Wright has written, The main place where you might run into coding trouble is with the citing engine. If you run into any problems in this regard, the Wikipedia community as well as your instructor, are happy to assist, if asked in a timely fashion.

Validity

Meets standard Your information is factual with quality sources as well as the interpretation of that source material. There are many names for this Berber society, good job using all different kinds of names for them.

Completion

Does not meet standard You need to write more. I believe that a full paragraph needs to usually be at least six sentences. The professor says that a lot of statements gain a lot of credibility when there are multiple sources for one sentence. You can add more sources to previous existing sentences for more completion; also incorporate more information. Think of the Berber people's religions and describe that for more completeness. Example here, you write, In recent years, there has been a measurable increase in political representation for migrant populations, including the Berbers, in Amsterdam. And I want to see exact numbers, if possible. Write more information in places like this. Just expand what you have for the sake of time.

Relevance

Meets standard Moving forward I'd recommend you write a lot more; the professor says, Write a fair margin more than the minimum required content. That way, you get an 'exceeds standard' grade and you start to earn some extra credit!

Sources

Does not meet standard You need 10 sources. You have eight and number eight needs edits. I'm referring to the quality and quantity of the source material, but mostly the quantity.

Citations

Does not meet standard You need to address source number eight because there are lower case letters in titles when there should be capitals. Also a random P at the end should be erased. I'm helping you out by going over everything with a fine tooth comb. I'm playing BAD COP as asked for by Dr. Wright. You need two more sources.

References

Nearly meets standard. Please add two more sources. Dr. Wright says, The key here is to be as complete as possible. Siarra360 (talk) 23:32, 15 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

6/6/2019 Evaluation by DrMichaelWright

DrMichaelWright (talk) 13:45, 6 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Points: 38.5/40
Grade: 96.25%

Spelling/Grammar

Meets standard.

The Amsterdam article uses British/Commonwealth spelling, which you should adopt before adding your paragraphs to the live article. (e.g. labor=>labour)

Language

Meets standard.

"...are an ethnic race of..." 'race' is not the word I'd use. See here for elaboration of the term and its uses.
"...indigenous peoples from Morocco in North Africa and..." Morocco is just a part of where Berbers are from. I see that you understand that from the rest of your sentence. Perhaps replace with 'and elsewhere in'

Organization

Nearly meets standard.

Since Berbers are not the only identity group among Amsterdam's immigrants, it would be useful to have a separate header for them. Otherwise, it creates the idea that Amsterdam's immigrants are mainly Berbers, which is not the case - especially if one has to account for non-Berber Moroccans, Surinamese and Turks.
"After the Second World War ended, the Dutch economy underwent rapid growth, resulting in a shortage of labor." This is true of more immigrant groups than just Berbers, and should therefore be placed in the preceding paragraph, altering the first sentence of that paragraph.

Coding

Meets standard.

Validity

Nearly meets standard.

I do like that you distinguish Berbers, rather than just Moroccan. However, that also creates problems, since the way in which Berbers identify themselves is complex. Also, a number of your sources do not deal directly with Berbers, but refer to non-Western immigrants in general.
- "A large number of Amsterdam's immigrant population consists of Berbers." It is most certainly true, but your source does not actually say that. It talks about the Berbers in the Netherlands. Now, there's no reason to suspect that the Moroccan/Berber population of Amsterdam is not representative of Moroccans and other Northwest Africans as a whole - but given the way that chain migration works, it's not impossible either. That's why you need to be careful about equating the Netherlands with Amsterdam specifically.
- "...a complicated process awaits to obtain a visa." This is also true for other non-Western immigrant populations, and should probably be moved to the first paragraph of the Diversity and immigration section. Furthermore, if you're writing in the present tense, it would be best to have more up-to-date sources. It's certainly still true - maybe even more so than in the periods your somewhat dated sources suggest - but you should use up-to-date sources when writing such things.
- "Berber peoples face racial exclusion or attacks, be they verbal or physical." This is also true, but not just for Berbers. Furthermore, your source does not specifically mention Berbers. It would be best to make this sentence more general and move it to a paragraph not dealing with the Berbers.
- "In recent years, there has been a measurable increase in political representation for migrant populations, including the Berbers, in Amsterdam." This source also does not mention Berbers.

Completion

Meets standard.

Relevance

Meets standard. You focus a great deal on the Berbers but much of what you write should be applied to non-Western immigrants in general. That would also help even out the new material, since Berbers are just one of many different groups in the Amsterdam. Also, in Amsterdam they are not generally referred to as Berbers, but as Moroccans. If that is not the case - or if my own experience is off or outdated - then it would be useful to have that corrected and have it explicitly mentioned in the text that they refer to themselves as Berbers. At present, it seems like you allowed the van Amersfoort & van Heelsum article to railroad your thinking about this.

Sources

Exceeds standard. These are some really awesome sources!

Citations

Meets standard.

You occasionally leave a space between the period at the end of a sentence and the citation note that supports it. There should be no such space.

References

Meets standard.

I really like how you indicate the specific pages from where your source is drawing its information. Thank you - that is very helpful.
With the van Amersfoort & van Heelsum article, it's better to use the journal's publication date, rather than the date when the article was 'published online'. The primary purpose of the date is to help someone find the source, rather than taking it as a time stamp. In this case, that would be 2007. The same goes for Siebers & Dennissen, the journal issue of which came out in 2015.
For academic journals you only report the publication year, not the month or day. Nor do you need to report the publisher or the database, but I'm glad you're erring on the side of inclusion.
The Hall article is a book review of a book by the title that you offer. You should title it as 'Book review: New York and Amsterdam: immigration and the new urban landscape'

3rd Edit (Copenhagen) Evaluations

06/11/2019 Evaluation by Sograves

Points: 32/40
Grade: 80

Spelling/Grammar

Nearly meets standard. Numerous little errors. First paragraph: “an agriculture” should presumably be “and agriculture.” You write “combating” as “combatting” in the third paragraph.

Language

Does not meet standard. Mostly solid. In the second paragraph, your second sentence reads as far too praiseworthy in calling Copenhagen a “showcase,” and “rising implications of climate change” sounds awkward and nonspecific. What are those implications? What specifically about climate change? In the third paragraph, saying that the Accord was “to try and get other countries onboard for combating rising effects of climate change” is in need of some academic rewording.

Organization

Meets standard.

Coding

Meets standard.

Validity

Does not meet standard. There’s nothing wrong, per se, with having just one source dictate your first paragraph, but it might help vary and validate information on the green revolution. Otherwise, your information seems solid, and you integrate it very nicely into the existing text of the article. In the last paragraph, what do you mean by “a food’s impact”? The study seems to implicate food consumption and production, not just a single type of food.

Completion

Meets standard. All accounted for.

Relevance

Nearly meets standard. In your first sentence, you don’t need to mention that Copenhagen is the capital of Denmark; that’s addressed right up front in the article itself. Other than that, your info is relevant to the article. If you can find them, stats on car emissions, or stats on how impactful bike riders are on emissions would be neat. I don’t think it’s a must.

Sources

Nearly meets standard. Lots of studies and scholarly articles, but have you found any official government documents about Copenhagen’s efforts? Like from the city itself or from environmental commissions in the EU or UN? A mix is healthy.

Citations

Meets standard. If you’re going to publish this, you shouldn’t touch the existing citations. Unless you’re “upgrading” them, I suppose?

References

Nearly meets standard. Reference 20 should have a link to the article. Also the publication seems like a legit research firm, but I would make sure? With a name like “just-food.com” at least.

6/11/2019 Evaluation by Siarra360 (talk) 22:01, 22 April 2019 (UTC)

Points: 40.5/40
Grade: A

Spelling/Grammar

Meet Standards I peer reviewed your sandbox with a fine tooth comb. I noticed you wrote "an agriculture" when you meant "and agriculture." This was near the beginning of your sandbox. Other than that, I did not notice any other typos. I did not see any misspellings at all.

Language

Exceeds Standards When I took journalism class in college I learned to write the work "percent" out completely instead of writing the % symbol. I thought that might help make it sound like an encyclopedia a bit more, however I recommend you research my advice so it makes sense academically. I was impressed with the way you added encyclopedia tones and additional information to the end of sentences that were preexisting. Words like "tandem," "low-impact," and "fiscal" impressed me.

Organization

Meets Standards The structuring is great but there are only four paragraphs total, I suggest five. You did a great job lengthening paragraphs to be more than five sentences, however I want to see an additional paragraph and I'll touch base on that a little lower. I texted you about this earlier so you could get a jump start. The sentences are in proper places and the header looks good.

Coding

Exceeds Standards Your coding and Wikieditor seems fine. I want to be tough but this is excellent. You did a great job with your citations as can definitely be the hardest part of coding. Even the images have proper coding!

Validity

Exceeds Standards The information is accurate and structured with the earliest information first. The chronological order makes this easy to follow. Valid sources and quality information. I looked up Urban Structures Matter by Petter N. and it is indeed "research from Denmark on residential location and travel to show how and why urban spatial structures affect people's travel behaviour," like you shared.

Completion

Does not meet Standards Here is where we need to talk amount of material presented. We need five paragraphs worth of new information. That's five- seven sentences times five paragraphs to equal 25- 35 new sentences and you wrote 16 sentences and added two photos which I'd say means you need another five-ten sentences or additional photos to make up for that. Please write more to make up for the "inadequate content," which sounds way too harsh for my tastes yet is the verbiage from the module page. I think one image could replace two sentences, as an option. Your images are great, that needs to be said! Maybe add one more?

Relevance

Exceeds Standards Your information on Copenhagen was interesting and riveting. I'd say your article is noteworthy. You did a textbook job with relevance, in my opinion, because it's the opposite of completion. If you wrote too much then it could stray from the topic, according to Dr. Wright in module 4.

Sources

Meets Standards I looked up Urban Structures Matter and it is scholarly, so great work there. I noticed all your sources look good at first glance, except you need to capitalize the titles of articles in several places. I looked up Forestry Taxation and I cannot find how the taxation of forests relates to "The culture in Copenhagen emphasizes an efficient, low-impact lifestyle focused on sustainability and environmental conservation." I'd advise revisiting the use of this source, I see that it's written in Copenhagen so the fact that consideration of forests is even there means it is relatable in some kind of way, most likely.

Citations

Meets Standards I would like to see those title letters capitalized. I admire the variety of sources you provide.

References

Exceeds Standards I believe all your sources to be scholarly and appropriate. Great work! I clicked Urban Transportation Innovations and page 87 is in fact on pedestrian activity in Denmark. I even see Harvard references. Siarra360 (talk) 23:28, 11 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

6/17/2019 Evaluation by DrMichaelWright

DrMichaelWright (talk) 12:26, 17 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

This looks real nice and is well-written and formatted. Unfortunately, the sources frequently just do not check out (see below).

Points: 34/40
Grade: 85%

Spelling/Grammar

Meets standard.

Language

Meets standard.

Organization

Meets standard.

Coding

Meets standard.

Validity

Does not meet standard.

"In 2001 a large offshore wind farm was built just off the coast of Copenhagen at Middelgrunden, which has caused a gradual rise in property prices in the surrounding areas.[9]" Since the source you cite for this does not deal with Middelgrunden, but with property prices elsewhere in Denmark (see below), this statement is not validated by your source.

Completion

Meets standard.

Relevance

Does not meet standard.

By saying that "Copenhagen has become a leading city in building sustainable infrastructure and environmental awareness," you seem to be confusing things. The city is where the 2009 United Nations Climate Change Conference happened to take place. The Danish government, and possibly the city government, probably played official host to the conference itself, but the heavy negotiating with other global partners was done on their behalf by the European Union. Also, most of the negotiating was done well ahead of time, and Copenhagen the city had little to do with it. Furthermore, the Copenhagen conference is frequently seen as a failure, to which which your sources attest.
The Winter source does not say what you say it does. It's calling much of Copenhagen's so-called "green" culture an elaborate set of lies.

Sources

Does not meet standard.

You cite a large number of credible sources, but they frequently are not relevant or do not say what you say they say.
You MUST NOT cite tertiary sources like Encyclopedia Britannica.
The source on the Tufts site is not accessible.
The Sterner & Damon and Nordhaus sources do not seem to be about Copenhagen the city, but about the Copenhagen Climate Accord (see above).
The Jensen article is not about Copenhagen. It's data is taken from the islands of Lolland and Falster in southeast Denmark, which is some 80 miles south of Copenhagen.
You cite the Engberg chapter (pg. 147) for the ambition for Copenhagen to be the first carbon-neutral city. But Jensen is citing another source for that. You should have gone to that original, rather than take it second hand.
You have a nice graph, but in the upload you attribute it to your own work, whereas the caption has a note to the Kjærgaard book. If you scanned and uploaded that from the book, then you need to remove it, unless you somehow have permission to use that graphic.

Citations

Meets standard.

References

Meets standard.

"Ukraine, Denmark in"... it's not a person's name, with a given (first) and a family (last) name. You would put the whole organizational name in the last= parameter.
The Naess source is a book and not a journal, and should use the proper reference template, including a publisher. Having both a url and a doi is redundant. Also, that book has a subtitle, Residential Location, Car Dependence and Travel Behaviour, which should be included in the reference.
The title of the book from which you draw the Engberg chapter has a different title than The Urban Book Series.