Wikipedia:WikiKnight
 | This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous. Such material is not meant to be taken seriously. |
 | This page in a nutshell: WikiKnights are there to protect the simple WikiVillagers. |
| WikiKnight | |
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Scientific classification 
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| Kingdom: | Animalia |
| Phylum: | Chordata |
| Class: | Mammalia |
| Infraclass: | Placentalia |
| Order: | Primates |
| Superfamily: | Hominoidea |
| Family: | Hominidae |
| Genus: | Homo |
| Species: | H. wikicniht
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| Binomial name | |
| Homo wikicniht Nerfighter, 2013
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| Subspecies | |
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A WikiKnight or a Homo wikicniht (from Latin Homo 'person'; Hawaiian wikiwiki 'quick' and Old English cniht 'one of many substrate names for employee, later vassal militant') is a Wikipedian who has sworn to defend Wikipedia and uphold the eternal pillars of truth.
A WikiKnight has one’s own code of chivalry which one unwaveringly follows and is a sworn enemy of WikiDragons. One often endeavours to win the hearts of WikiPrincesses with one’s noble deeds.
History
[edit]WikiKnights descend from the ephemeral kingdom of Homo sapiens, selected for their courage and desire to protect the defenseless. From the very beginning, WikiKnights have had no interest in accumulating power or rising in world politics. The original task assigned to WikiKnights can be best expressed as: "Protect the weak, defenceless, and helpless. Fight for the welfare of all!".[1] WikiKnights have faith that at the end of the day, justice and good shall prevail.
In the first age, Knights had much work to do, great missions awaited them, and danger lurked at every corner. Fierce WikiDragons roamed the land, and terrorized the villages; it was these epic battles with their cold-blooded foes that defined much of the WikiKnights' history.
The legendary WikiDragon, a once-powerful beast who provided excitement in an otherwise humdrum world, would often cross paths with a WikiKnight. However, in the better-ordered and more-delicate modern world, the dragon is now an anachronism, and few remain. Those who do exist focus their attention on outlying areas, such as minor members of the English aristocracy, SoHo, and obscure villages in France. Occasionally one breaks through to well-populated areas, laying waste to carefully crafted cities of WikiWisdom; this is where the WikiKnight comes in.
Despite their sworn enmity, WikiKnights rarely slay WikiDragons. For all the sword-clanging and fire-breathing, WikiKnights know that without the WikiDragon, they would just be another WikiGnome, toiling away underground. And deep down, WikiDragons know they need the WikiKnight; otherwise they would become just another gold-hoarding WikiMonster, loathed for the destruction they bring.
Code of Chivalry
[edit]- To serve the liege lord in valour and faith
- To protect the weak and defenceless
- To refrain from the wanton giving of offence
- To despise pecuniary reward
- To fight for the welfare of all
- To obey all Wikipedia policies and guidelines
- To guard the honour of fellow WikiKnights
- To eschew unfairness, meanness, and deceit
- To assume good faith
- To at all times tell the truth
- To persevere to the end in any valiant enterprise begun
- To respect the honour of all people
- To never turn the back upon a foe
Characteristics
[edit]Rise to knighthood
[edit]
Few WikiKnights are ready on day one. Ancient scripts tell of apprentices who foolishly challenged a WikiDragon and barely escaped to tell about their misadventure. WikiKnights may seek training with a wiser WikiCreature to refine the skills they will employ during their journeys. With WikiDragons now obscure creatures, it is not uncommon for WikiKnights to travel as Knights-errant, wandering from one WikiVillage to the next in search of adventures to prove themselves. If a WikiKnight finds a suitable location in need of attention, one may settle down in a Pas d'armes fashion or simply observe from afar for signs of trouble.
WikiKnight powers
[edit]The WikiKnight has no magical powers—it is the pureness of whose WikiHeart that gives whom WikiStrength and allows whom to stand up to the WikiDragon. The only WikiKnight weapons are the ordinary Sword of Reversion, Shield of Neutrality, and Helmet of References. With these one opposes the wholesale slaughter that a badly-behaved WikiDragon can inflict. The only characteristic that might be considered miraculous by some is that one shares with the WikiDragon—an immensely thick skin.
How to identify a WikiKnight
[edit]The actions of WikiKnights must conform to the code of conduct; however, even WikiKnights have their limits and will go to war when they feel the very foundations of Wikipedia are in danger of collapsing. Nevertheless, the easiest way to identify WikiKnights is by their battlecries. The most popular is "This article or section lacks references", but others have their own personal ones. WikiKnights most of the time blend in with WikiGnomes but show their true colours at the appearance of a rampaging WikiDragon or WikiOrc. When other WikiVillagers run for cover, the WikiKnight stands tall and refuses to be pushed from the talk page by the Dragon's fiery breath, cleaving apart the disruptive edits caused by both creatures using the Sword of Reversion. One will also remind you about the eternal pillars of truth at least once in a conversation.
WikiKnights who are proud of their title may be easily identified by the following userbox, which can be produced using the code {{User wikipedia/WikiKnight}}:
 | This user is a WikiKnight, valiantly protecting the Five Pillars of Wikipedia. |
A WikiKnight may also display one’s shield and sword at the top of the page by adding {{Wikipedia:WikiKnight/topicon}} to one’s userpage. For additional topicon versions click the aforementioned code's link.
Dark WikiKnights
[edit]
A dark WikiKnight, scientific name Homo wikicniht cimmerius (from Latin cimmerius 'of Cimmeria, after Homer’s report of a city overcast, misty, and ever in night'), is a WikiKnight who has delved so far and so intensely into protecting the Five Pillars that one actually begins to limit the freedom of the WikiFauna there.
One unjustifiably murders with the Sword of Reversion when not needed, requires identification from those not in an area requiring it, and slays creatures who were only playing. This sometimes slips even further, creating a WikiKnight who enforces a near-totalitarian regime on others in a chosen domain.
Some propaganda futilely attempts to argue that Dark WikiKnights don't even really exist, that they are a falsehood spread by the few remaining dragons and wounded WikiOgres to give an incredulous bias against the knighthood in general.
Contrast with WikiGiants, who sometimes cause collateral damage amongst the innocent WikiFauna during the destruction of invading vandals. The phenomenon of the WikiGiant is that of a tank in a china-shop. The phenomenon of the Dark WikiKnight is more subtle; it is a tale of corruption by power, the evil path less travelled that true WikiKnights eschew, as historically documented in The Fellowship of the Ring for the cautionary saga of Galadriel, who edits Wikipedia still from beyond the western seas.
Notes
[edit]- ^ "Knights and Chivalry in Medieval England". britainexpress.com.
