Wikipedia:Articles for creation/2008-09-09

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Chupa Chuck

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Biography

The background of the man known to the world as Chupa Chuck is sketchy at best. By following a trail of public records and used Chupa Chups wrappers, we were able to piece together a history of this mysterious enigma.

According to hospital records, Chuck was born in Barcelona weighing in at 3.2 kilos, 3.3 if you count the Chupa Chups already in his mouth.

The next public mention is a 2005 world record for “sitting still”. Interestingly, eyewitnesses report that Chuck was not actually attempting to set a record at the time.

Various reports put him in a diner, a gym and a doctors office. He was also spotted at the top of Mt. Everest but upon closer inspection that turned out to be, in scientific terms, “a rock”.

Where will Chuck turn up next? Only the man himself knows for sure. One thing that we do know, he will face all of life’s trials and tribulations with the same mantra he always does:

“suck, suck”.

Chuck Facts

Holds the world record for “just sitting there”.

Once ate 32 Chupa Chups in a row without noticing.

According to scientists, he is the only living creature to exists in a binary state – either “Sucking” or “About to Suck”.

Once got into a staring contest with the Mona Lisa and won.

His favorite show is whatever is on television. (Chuck won’t get up to find the remote.)

Was roommates with Pete Dougherty at one point, although neither of them noticed.

Email address is chuck.idontansweremails@gmail.com

Once told a Zen master that he was “too intense”.

Is the only man to ever stare Chuck Norris in the eye and not be afraid.

Has the sucking power of a quantum singularity.

Sources

Chupachuck (talk) 03:47, 9 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Declined. Thank you for your submission. It appears that your submission is an attempt to be humourous over being factual. As Wikipedia strives to contain only factual entries, we can not accept your submission at this time. Ariel♥Gold 03:55, 9 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]