User talk:Limjason/AWAK
Issues with article
[edit]- Thanks for your work on this article. However, there are still several problems with it in its current form. For one, it is biased and not neutral. It also reads like an advertisement. Additionally, there is no discussion of the work in the past (the last 40 years), and it still insists that AWAK only refers to the UCLA device instead of generalizing it to the generic term. Take a look at all the links that I provided in the previous discussion we had and try to craft the article so it is appropriate to those ideas. For a starting point, I would recommend reading WP:YFA, paying particular attention to the "Things to avoid" section. Thanks! Chaldor (talk) 20:29, 30 September 2008 (UTC)
- Hi! Thanks once again. Okok. Sorry for all the trouble! Work on the past 40years seem to be abit tough to get. I will try to reach for them! I shall make some changes again. However, this is another article on AWAK which u can take a look.
- It is really getting more and more publicity, and i got to know that the name AUTOMATED WEARABLE ARTIFICIAL KIDNEY has been trademarked by the company. With such booming publicity, i guess it deserve some credits to just mention about its presence to change the lives of renal disease patients? Just a thought. Hope to hear your advice Chaldor. Thank you! Limjason (talk) 10:30, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
- The past 40 years are not tough to get, you can incorporate all of the references I currently have at AWAK as a starting point. The article you found is very nice. Please see the guidelines set forth at WP:CRYSTAL regarding unreleased products. If, as you claim, the AWAK term is the explicit name of the product, then, currently, it would also fail the criteria set forth in WP:PRODUCT. At this point, the only way I can see this future product included in the wiki is if it were to be merged with a larger context article and given a much briefer discussion as set forth in WP:WEIGHT. Chaldor (talk) 19:16, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
- Hi!! I have just updated 1 with the history of the technology. Please further guide me! Can't wait to have the article uploaded. Haha. Thank you so much. Limjason (talk) 05:48, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
- Hi Chaldor! Hope to hear from you soon! (Excited)! Thanks. Limjason (talk) 02:00, 9 October 2008 (UTC)
- It seems you completely ignored the second half of what I said in my last reply. I feel that there is an important concept that you are misunderstanding (or willfully choosing to ignore). You are stating that AWAK is the name of the specific device created by the UCLA researchers. If this is the case, then this article is subject to the policy set forth at WP:PRODUCT. According to that policy, you will also see that this article must then be subject to WP:CORP. Based on those policies, it is apparent to me, and hopefully to you as well, that there are problems with this article's inclusion into wikipedia. The first is that both the corporation and the device do not pass the notability criteria. I know you may feel that the device is wonderful and fabulous, but there just hasn't been enough external coverage about this product to warrant its own article. Further, since this device does not exist, it is also subject to the WP:FUTURE policy. This policy basically states that, with a few exceptions, anything that doesn't exist yet should not be included in the wiki.
- You can see then, given its limited notability, and the fact that it is an unreleased product, there is no strong arguement for it to have its own article. However, given its potential, I think it does merit at least a mention under a broader, and more encompassing article that does pass the notability criteria. I am working on consolidating AWAK and Wearable kidney into Artificial kidney so that there can be one, well-referenced article that discusses all the past and near-future attempts at creating a next-generation dialysis system. If you are insistent that there needs to be an article dedicated to AWAK, then I might suggest doing it on http://future.wikia.com Discussions of future/speculated products are acceptable there. Chaldor (talk) 05:03, 10 October 2008 (UTC)
- Hi, sorry if i gave you the idea that i ignore them on purpose. Didn't mean to do that! I agree with you on the consolidation of AWAK and Wearable kidney into artificial kidney. So it is fine with you if i were to wait for your consolidation first before i change my write up again? Hope to hear your recommendations soon, so i can upload them! Is that fine with you? Limjason (talk) 06:39, 10 October 2008 (UTC)
- Waiting until the consolidation sounds sounds like a good idea. Keep in mind that the total amount of text devoted to AWAK in the artificial kidney article will be under the WP:WEIGHT policy, so I don't envision there being too much more than what is currently in the AWAK article. Chaldor (talk) 08:42, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
- Hi Chaldor! Yup. Thanks for the understanding. Sorry to have been giving you so much trouble. I'll just wait for you to have them consolidate. Would it be alright if you can give me an estimated time, so that i can try to reduce the content and can be edited by you in time? THANKS! Limjason (talk) 04:44, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
- Please see WP:DEADLINE. Remember, we're all volunteers. If you have the time and the desire, and want to go ahead with the consolidation before I get to it, please do so. Remember, be WP:BOLD. Chaldor (talk) 19:40, 14 October 2008 (UTC)