User talk:Cecrais/sandbox

Peer Review - Natalie

I love your choice to go into elements of her life that have influenced her career as a filmmaker. I do think that considering Lupino's background adds depth to her work. The extra analysis of the numerous jobs she held in the industry is also a good idea. Try finding some interviews with her to help with your discussion of her directoral style. Her own perspective on what makes her a successful director seems like it would be interesting!

Peer Review - Lindsay

Lupino's original article has a lot of information, so I think it makes sense that the edits you're focusing on are more on the details and making the article well rounded. It is good that you're giving some information on Lupino's history with polio. I'd suggest linking to wiki articles when you use the medical phrases or reference something specific without wanting to go into a detailed explanation.

It is hard to give feedback on what you have written because it is a bit sparse and fragmented. The sources you are including seem valuable, though, so I think you have a lot to work with. I would suggest looking more into her personal life (activism, personal essays, etc.) so the section isn't so heavily focused on her marriages. I would also explore and maybe include more about Lupino's education, as the only thing mentioned is her enrolling in the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts.

Lindsaympatton (talk) 21:33, 30 March 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review Response -- Natalie

Thank you Natalie! I agree that finding some more interviews about her directorial style would be very helpful to this article. I will be sure to look for that.

Cecrais (talk) 22:46, 9 April 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review Response -- Lindsay

Thank you for your feedback Lindsay. Yes, it is definitely too fragmented at this stage. I am a bit behind and need to add a lot more about her personal life and activism. I also agree that the narrative needs to shift from her marriages and more towards her actual work.

Cecrais (talk) 22:47, 9 April 2018 (UTC)

Professor Schreiber feedback

Christine - This is an excellent start. I really like how you are adding new information based on your archival research on Lupino. This is the kind of information that is often missing from actors' sites. I agree with your fellow students that fleshing out and expanding your prose is necessary but I am sure that you will add more soon.MJSProf (talk) 17:44, 15 April 2018 (UTC)