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DDEZ Metcalf III Jr.

DeKaylin DeMarius Edwardius Zecharius "DDEZ" Metcalf III Junior duh-KAY-lunn duh-MARE-ee-UHS ehd-WARD-ee-UHS zuh-KARE-ee-UHS meht-KAFF the THYRD JOON-YURR;(born June 17, 1966) is a fictional character I made up because my idol is NFL wide receiver DK Metcalf. He played on the Seattle Seahawks from 1987 to 2007, and played college for Incarnate Word from 1981 to 1984 and played for Lenoir-Rhyne from 1985 to 1986.

DDEZ Metcalf III Jr.

Metcalf III Jr. in 2020 (DK Metcalf in 2020)
No. 14
Position:	Wide receiver
Personal information
Born:	(1967-06-17) June 17, 1967 near Humptulips, Washington, U.S.
Height:	6 ft 0 in (1.83 m)
Weight:	200 lb (91 kg)
Career information
High school:	Sedro-Woolley High School
College:	Incarnate Word (1981–1984) Lenoir-Rhyne (1985–1986)
NFL draft:	1987: 12th round, 324th pick
Career history
Seattle Seahawks (1987–2007)
Career highlights and awards
11× Pro Bowl 1990, 1992, 1995, 1998–2002, 2004–2007
Career NFL statistics
Receptions: 1,102 Receiving yards: 20,177 Receiving touchdowns: 311

Early life

DDEZ Metcalf III Jr. was born on June 17, 1967 near Humptulips, Washington. When he was 7, Metcalf III Jr. and his family moved to Sedro-Woolley, Washington. He graduated from Sedro-Woolley High School when he was 14.

College career

Shortly after, Metcalf III Jr. left to go to San Antonio, Texas to go to Incarnate Word. He played for them until 1985, where he played at Lenoir-Rhyne in Hickory, North Carolina for 2 years.

Professional career

Metcalf III Jr. was drafted by his hometown team the Seattle Seahawks in the 12th round with the 324th pick (Tony Burse was Seattles actual pick) in the 1987 NFL draft.

Metcalf III Jr. retired on February 7, 2008, as the Seahawks all-time receiving leader in touchdowns, receptions and yards. He finished with 11 pro bowls, and other than Jerry Rice, he is considered one of the best receivers of all time.

Personal life

Metcalf III Jr. has an IQ of 180, his wife has an IQ of 175, which is why they both graduated at the age of 14. Metcalf III Jr. has been married to his high school sweetheart Wanda Herbert Octon Ramsey Evans, since 1985, when they were both 18, but had been in a relationship since 1980, when they both were in their senior year of high school. They have three children, two sons: DeMarius Edwardius "DM" Metcalf (b. 1991) and DeKaylin Zecharius "DK" Metcalf (b. 1997), their daughter is named Emily Mary Metcalf–Evans "EMME" (b. 2003). Metcalf III Jr. is best friends with Big Pitts Ohio and Mite B. DeCarburetor, which they were called "The Big Three" during their time together with the Seattle Seahawks from 1995–1998. They are known as the original Seattle Seahawks group, before the Legion of Boom.

DM Metcalf

DeMarius Edwardius "DM" Metcalf (born April 4, 1991) is an American former professional football player who played for the Seattle Seahawks in 2012.

DM Metcalf

No. 18
Position:	Wide receiver
Personal information
Born:	(1991-04-04) April 4, 1991 Seattle, Washington, U.S.
Height:	6 ft 3 in (1.91 m)
Weight:	205 lb (93 kg)
Career information
High school:	Garfield (Seattle, Washington)
College:	Washington (2009–2011)
NFL draft:	2012: 4th round, 116th pick
Career history
Seattle Seahawks (2012)
Career NFL statistics
Receptions: 20 Receiving yards: 244 Receiving touchdowns: 2

Personal life

Metcalf's father is DDEZ Metcalf III Jr., and he had two siblings, DK and Emily.

Big Pitts Ohio

Brocklin Issac Grahams "Big" Pitts Ohio sometimes capitalized "BIG" (born November 22, 1970) is a fictional character I made up, mostly because he is good friends with DDEZ Metcalf III Jr. Pitts Ohio is partly inspired from former Pittsburgh Steelers tight end Heath Miller.

Big Pitts Ohio

Pitts Ohio in 2009 (Heath Miller in 2012)
No. 80, 83, 88, 89
Position:	Tight end
Personal information
Born:	(1970-11-22) November 22, 1970 San Antonio, Texas, U.S.
Height:	6 ft 10 in (2.08 m)
Weight:	275 lb (125 kg)
Career information
College:	Incarnate Word (1988–1990)
NFL draft:	1991: 9th round, 238th pick
Career history
New York Jets (1991–1993) Dallas Cowboys (1993–1995) Seattle Seahawks (1995–1998) Pittsburgh Steelers (1998–1999, 2004–2010)
Career highlights and awards
8× Pro Bowl 1995, 1997, 1998, 2004, 2006–2009
Career NFL statistics
Receptions: 1,118 Receiving yards: 10,039 Receiving touchdowns: 126

Professional career

Pitts Ohio was drafted by the New York Jets with the 238th pick in the 9th round.

New York Jets

He was released by the Jets after being injured in his rookie season, then only having 104 receiving yards and no touchdowns in 20 games.

Dallas Cowboys

Pitts Ohio was picked up by the Dallas Cowboys in week 8 of the 1993 season. He did well in his backup role in 1993 and 1994, having 576 receiving yards and 10 touchdowns.

Start of 1995

In the first 7 weeks of 1995, Pitts Ohio had 409 yards and 7 touchdowns. He was traded to Seattle before the trade deadline.

Seattle Seahawks

Pitts Ohio was traded to the Seahawks for a measly 5th round pick in 1997.

Rest of 1995

He finished the 1995 season with 555 yards and 7 touchdowns in his Seattle stint, which totaled for 964 yards and 14 touchdowns, both the best for tight ends in the 1995 season.

1996

Pitts Ohio was once again plagued with the injury bug, getting injured in the preseason, and missed half of the season. Week 10 and beyond, Pitts Ohio had 322 receiving yards and 2 touchdowns.

1997

In Week 10, Pitts Ohio had one of the best performances in tight end history, 251 receiving yards and 4 touchdowns, leading to a 35-10 Seattle victory. He finished the season overall with 1128 receiving yards and 20 touchdowns, both records for tight ends.

Start of 1998

Pitts Ohio started out the 1998 season with 604 yards and 9 touchdowns, in the first 7 weeks.

Pittsburgh Steelers

However, he was traded by Seattle to the Pittsburgh Steelers for a 1999 first and second round pick, and a 2000 first and second round pick.

Rest of 1998

He finished the season having 366 receiving yards and 3 touchdowns with the Steelers. In total, Pitts Ohio had 970 receiving yards and 10 touchdowns for the 1998 season.

1999

Through the first 11 weeks of the 1999 season, Pitts Ohio had a relatively good season, 626 receiving yards and 5 touchdowns. However, he once again was plagued with injuries, he tore his ACL in week 13.

2000–2003

Pitts Ohio was diagnosed with cancer on February 28, 2000, in which he retired shortly after. He was diagnosed cancer free on May 20, 2001, but stayed retired. After being out of the league for three years, he returned to the Steelers on June 16, 2004.

2004

After being out of the league for nearly half a decade, Pitts Ohio finished the season with 900 yards and 9 touchdowns. It was just enough for Pitts Ohio to make his 4th Pro Bowl.

2005

Pitts Ohio had 761 yards and 12 touchdowns, he did not however, make the Pro Bowl.

2006

Pitts Ohio had 906 receiving yards and 8 touchdowns and made the Pro Bowl.

2007

Pitts Ohio had 1,004 receiving yards and 11 touchdowns, the best in the league (for a tight end) and made the Pro Bowl.

2008

Pitts Ohio had 10 touchdowns and 802 yards, barely enough to make the Pro Bowl.

2009

Pitts Ohio tore his ACL again in training camp, on July 27, 2009, and was out for the whole season.

2010

Pitts Ohio finished the season with 976 receiving yards and 14 touchdowns and made the Pro Bowl. After making the Super Bowl (and losing), Pitts Ohio officially called it quits after 14 years in the league on February 10, 2011.

Personal life

Pitts Ohio married Rachel DaHubbaHubba on August 19, 1998, and has two children with her, David Isaac Pitts Ohio (b. 1996) and Gregory Grahams Pitts Ohio (b. 1999). Pitts Ohio along with Metcalf III Jr. and DeCarburetor have been friends since they were all with Seattle in 1995 to 1998. They were known as the "Big Three."

Mite B. DeCarburetor

Michael Terry Bennett "Mite B." DeCarburetor sometimes capitalized "MITE B." or "MiTe B."US: MYGHT BEE DUH-kar-BURR-ay-turr UK: MOYHT BEE DUH-kahb-ree-AUGH-taa; (born February 28, 1974) is a fictional character I made up, mostly because he is good friends with DDEZ Metcalf III Jr. DeCarburetor is partly inspired from former New York Giants running back Tiki Barber.

Mite B. DeCarburetor

DeCarburetor in 2007 (Tiki Barber in 2007)
No. 24, 30
Position:	Running back
Personal information
Born:	(1974-02-28) February 28, 1974 Issaquah, Washington, U.S.
Height:	5 ft 10 in (1.78 m)
Weight:	180 lb (82 kg)
Career information
College:	Washington (1992–1994)
NFL draft:	1995: 7th round, 216th pick
Career history
Seattle Seahawks (1995–1998) New York Giants (1999–2007)
Career highlights and awards
6× Pro Bowl 1996–1998, 2002, 2005, 2008
Career NFL statistics
Carries: 2,362 Rushing yards: 9,200 Running touchdowns: 135

Professional career

DeCarburetor was drafted by the Seattle Seahawks with the 216th pick in the 7th round.

1995

In his first NFL game, DeCarburetor ran for 200 yards and 4 touchdowns. He finished his rookie season with 1,301 yards with 15 touchdowns and made the Pro Bowl.

1996

DeCarburetor finished the season with 1,250 yards and 12 touchdowns and made the Pro Bowl.

1997

DeCarburetor finished the season with 1,009 yards and 17 touchdowns and made the Pro Bowl.

1998

DeCarburetor finished the season with 809 yards and 10 touchdowns and missed the Pro Bowl.

New York Giants

After not reaching a deal with the Seahawks, DeCarburetor, left the team and signed a 6 year deal worth 50 million dollars.

1999

DeCarburetor played in two games before he tore his ACL in week 3, and finished the season with 92 yards and 3 touchdowns.

2000

DeCarburetor finished the season with 606 yards with 8 touchdowns and did not make the Pro Bowl.

2001

DeCarburetor finished with 1,212 yards and 13 touchdowns and made the Pro Bowl.

2002

DeCarburetor finished with 455 yards and 6 touchdowns before being benched to backup running back. Afterwards, he finished with 3 touchdowns and 29 yards and did not make the Pro Bowl.

2003

DeCarburetor stayed the backup in 2003, and tore his ACL again in week 6, finishing with 103 yards and 5 touchdowns and did not make the Pro Bowl.

2004

After having inconsistent play, he was released by the New York Giants on February 16, 2004. The Giants resigned DeCarburetor on September 10, 2004, after their starting running back got injured. He played very well after getting resigned, getting 1,022 yards for 16 touchdowns and made the Pro Bowl.

2005

DeCarburetor was designated the RB2 spot, and got 206 yards with 8 touchdowns and did not make the Pro Bowl.

2006

DeCarburetor was again put at the RB2 spot, ran for 100 yards with 6 touchdowns and did not make the Pro Bowl.

2007

DeCarburetor got the RB1 spot, after not being given the starting running back spot for a full season since 2001. He ran for 1,006 yards with 13 touchdowns and made the Pro Bowl. After winning Super Bowl XLII, DeCarburetor retired, ending with 9,200 yards with 135 touchdowns in his 14–year career.

Personal life

DeCarburetor is bisexual. He was in a relationship with Matthew McDonald from 1995 to 2011. During that time, they adopted a child, Brock, named after his former teammate who had recently been diagnosed with cancer. DeCarburetor has been in a relationship with Augusta Simmons since 2014, they have no children together. DeCarburetor along with Metcalf III Jr. and Pitts Ohio have been friends since they were all with Seattle from 1995 to 1998. They were known as the "Big Three."

Matthew McDonald

Matthew Morris McDonald sometimes known as "Triple M" or "MMM" (born April 10, 1977) is a fictional character I made up, mostly because he was the partner of Mite B. DeCarburetor from 1995 to 2011.

Matthew McDonald

McDonald in 2008 (Justin Bethel in 2016)
No. 28, 20
Position:	Running back
Personal information
Born:	(1977-04-10) April 10, 1977 Orchard Park, New York, U.S.
Height:	5 ft 8 in (1.73 m)
Weight:	204 lb (93 kg)
Career information
College:	Washington (1995–1998)
NFL draft:	1999: 4th round, 146th pick
Career history
Arizona Cardinals (1999–2001) Buffalo Bills (2002–2004)
Career NFL statistics
Carries: 610 Rushing yards: 2,721 Running touchdowns: 42

Professional career

McDonald was selected by the Arizona Cardinals in the fourth round of the 1999 NFL draft.

1999

McDonald finished the season with 702 yards with 10 touchdowns and did not make the Pro Bowl.

2000

McDonald finished the season with 507 yards and 9 touchdowns and did not make the Pro Bowl.

2001

In McDonald's final season with the Cardinals, in the first seven games he had 386 rushing yards with 7 touchdowns before getting injured and being out for the rest of the season.

Buffalo Bills

On July 16, 2002, the Buffalo Bills traded for McDonald from the Cardinals for a sixth round pick.

2002

In the preseason, McDonald got injured and was placed on injured reserve in Week 2, and was out for the rest of the season.

2003

McDonald finished the season with 844 rushing yards and 11 touchdowns and did not make the Pro Bowl.

2004

In McDonald's final year in the NFL, he rushed for 282 yards and 5 touchdowns before getting injured once again, in week 9.

Retirement

McDonald officially retired on February 1, 2005, after getting injured in three of his six seasons and missing 30 games in the NFL.

Personal life

McDonald is bisexual. He was in a relationship with Mite B. DeCarburetor from 1995 to 2011. During that time, they adopted a child, Brock, named after DeCarburetor's former teammate who had recently been diagnosed with cancer. McDonald has been in a relationship with Brooke Ammendola, the older sister of Matt Ammendola, since 2017, they have no children together.

Brock DeCarburetor

Brocklin Morris DeCarburetor (US: DUH-kar-BURR-ay-turr UK: DUH-kahb-ree-AUGH-taa; born August 8, 1999), is an American professional football running back for the Pittsburgh Steelers of the National Football League (NFL). He played college football for the Washington Huskies from 2017 to 2020 and was selected by the Jacksonville Jaguars in the sixth round of the 2021 NFL draft.

Brock DeCarburetor

No. 25 – Pittsburgh Steelers
Position:	Running back
Personal information
Born:	(1999-08-08) August 8, 1999 Salem, Oregon, U.S.
Height:	5 ft 9 in (1.75 m)
Weight:	175 lb (79 kg)
Career information
High school:	Stadium (Tacoma, Washington)
College:	Washington (2017–2020)
NFL draft:	2021: 6th round, 180th pick
Career history
Jacksonville Jaguars (2021–2023) Pittsburgh Steelers (2024–present)
Roster status:	Active
Career NFL statistics as of 2025
Rushing yards: 1,229 Rushing average: 5.0 Rushing touchdowns: 15 Receptions: 30 Receiving yards: 283 Receiving touchdowns: 4

Personal life

DeCarburetor is the adopted son of Mite B. DeCarburetor and Matthew McDonald.

Ti'airry Ball

Ti'airry Ball TEE-ar-EE BAWL; (born March 16, 2000), nicknamed "Baller", is an American professional football running back for the Las Vegas Raiders of the National Football League (NFL). He played college football at Georgia from 2019 to 2021 and Missouri in 2022 and 2023 and was selected by the Raiders in the fifth round of the 2024 NFL draft.

Ti'airry Ball

Ball with Georgia in 2021 (Zamir White in 2021)
No. 1 – Las Vegas Raiders
Position:	Running back
Personal information
Born:	(2000-03-16) March 16, 2000 Wentzville, Missouri, U.S.
Height:	6 ft 2 in (1.88 m)
Weight:	225 lb (102 kg)
Career information
High school:	Timberland (Wentzville, Missouri)
College:	Georgia (2019–2021) Missouri (2022–2023)
NFL draft:	2024: 5th round, 148th pick
Career history
Las Vegas Raiders (2024–present)
Roster status:	Active
Career NFL statistics as of 2025
Rushing yards: 1090 Rushing average: 3.7 Rushing touchdowns: 11 Receptions: 13 Receiving yards: 100 Receiving touchdowns: 2

Personal life

Ball is the brother of former NFL running back Montee Ball.

Rachel DaHubbaHubba

Rachel Anderson DaHubbaHubba (də-hə-bə-hə-bə; born June 6, 1972) is an American actress.

Rachel DaHubbaHubba
Image of a woman that resembles DaHubbaHubba (in 2008)
Born	Rachel DaHubbaHubba (1972-06-06) June 6, 1972 Austin, Texas, U.S.
Education	University of Texas, Austin (BFA)
Occupation	Actress
Years active	1992–present
Spouse	Big Pitts Ohio ​ (m. 1998)​
Children	2 (David, Gregory)

Personal life

DaHubbaHubba married Big Pitts Ohio on August 19, 1998, and has two children with him, David Isaac Pitts Ohio (b. 1996) and Gregory Grahams Pitts Ohio (b. 1999).

Sassy the Cat

Sassy the Cat (March 2005 – 2009) was an American cat. She was the mother of Sunny and Patch.

Sassy the Cat
Born	Sassy the Cat March 2005 Spokane Valley, Washington, U.S.
Died	2009 Airway Heights, Washington, U.S.
Nationality	American
Other names	Sassmesister
Occupation	Cat
Years active	2005–2009
Known for	Being a cat
Notable work	Being a cat
Spouse	Prince the Cat ​ (m. 2005)​
Children	2 (Patch, Sunny)

Early life

Sassy was born in March 2005, in Spokane Valley, Washington. She was adopted along with Prince the Cat.

Personal life and death

Sassy "married" Prince the Cat in 2005, and in 2006, she gave birth to two healthy children, Sunny and Patch, in Airway Heights, Washington. She later died in 2009 due to kidney failure, at age four, or about 33 years in cat years, also in Airway Heights.

Prince the Cat

Prince the Cat (March 2005 – 2018) was an American cat. He was the father of Sunny and Patch.

Prince the Cat
A cat that about 20% resembles Prince
Born	Prince the Cat March 2005 Spokane Valley, Washington, U.S.
Died	2018 Lemoore, California, U.S.
Nationality	American
Other names	Purrtoots, Mr. Sleek, Purrnuts (until 2007)
Occupation	Cat
Years active	2005–2018
Known for	Being a cat
Notable work	Being a cat
Spouse	Sassy the Cat ​ ​ (m. 2005; died 2009)​
Children	2 (Patch, Sunny)

Early life

Prince was born in March 2005, in Spokane Valley, Washington. He was adopted along with Sassy the Cat.

Personal life and death

Prince "married" Sassy the Cat in 2005, and in 2006, his "wife" gave birth to two healthy children, Sunny and Patch, in Airway Heights, Washington. He died in 2018 at the age of 13, or 68 in cat years, in Lemoore, California, while partially unknown, it was some sort of sickness.

Patch the Cat

Patch the Cat (January 2006 – 2022) was an American cat. He was the brother of Sunny the Cat.

Patch the Cat
Born	Patch the Cat January 2006 Airway Heights, Washington, U.S.
Died	2022 Lemoore, California, U.S.
Nationality	American
Other names	Patchymo, Mo
Occupation	Cat
Years active	2006–2022
Known for	Being a cat
Notable work	Being a cat

Early life

Patch was born in January 2006, in Spokane Valley, Washington. He was the brother of Sunny the Cat.

Personal life and death

Patch, unlike his mother (Sassy) and father (Prince), had no children and was never "married". He dealt with seizures and epilepsy in his last few years alive. After dealing with complications with it, he died in 2022, at the age of 16, or 80 in cat years, in Lemoore, California.

Sunny the Cat

Sunny the Cat (January 2006 – 2023) was an American cat. He was the brother of Patch the Cat.

Sunny the Cat
An image of a cat that resembles about 60% of Sunny
Born	Sunny the Cat January 2006 Airway Heights, Washington, U.S.
Died	2023 Lemoore, California, U.S.
Nationality	American
Other names	Goofball
Occupation	Cat
Years active	2006–2023
Known for	Being a cat
Notable work	Being a cat

Early life

Sunny was born in January 2006, in Spokane Valley, Washington. He was the brother of Patch the Cat.

Personal life and death

Sunny, unlike his mother (Sassy) and father (Prince), had no children and was never "married". While not fully known of his death, it was likely of old age. He died at the age of 17, or 84 in car years, in 2023, in Lemoore, California.

Zeeva Z

Zeeva "Z" the Cat ZEE-və; alternatively spelled Zeva and better known as Zeeva Z (born August 4, 2017) is an American cat. She is the sister of Jethro the Cat.

Zeeva Z
Official portrait, 2024
Born	Zeeva the Cat (2017-08-04) August 4, 2017 Spokane Valley, Washington, U.S.
Nationality	American
Other names	Zeva, Zeva Z, Zeeva Z, Z
Occupation	Cat
Years active	2017–present
Known for	Being a cat
Notable work	Being a cat
Political party	Green (until 2024) Democratic (since 2024)

Zeeva Z was born on August 4, 2017, in Spokane Valley, Washington. She, along with Jethro, Hadley and Deacon were all adopted in April 2018, and lived in Liberty Lake, Washington until December 2021.

Zeeva Z used to be in good relations with Jethro, Hadley and Deacon, however, in 2018, relations broke down, and the other three cats formed the alliance known as the "Triple Entente", and have had various squabbles and disputes since then.

Zeeva Z is known to be the friendliest cat of them all, and most feisty of them. She may hide at first, but shortly thereafter she becomes friendly and wants to be petted.

Zeeva Z always wants to be played with, whenever she sees you bringing out a toy, she will instantly go after it (preferably a mouse toy).

December 2021 – July 2022

From December 12, 2021 until July 16, 2022, all of the cats went back to the shelter they were in 4 years previously.

Personal life

Zeeva Z's only sibling is Jethro the cat. Zeeva Z is apparently a democrat, how, who knows?!

Jethro the Cat

Jethro the Cat (born August 4, 2017) is an American cat. He is the brother of Zeeva the Cat.

Jethro the Cat
Image of a cat that resembles Jethro
Born	Jethro the Cat (2017-08-04) August 4, 2017 Spokane Valley, Washington, U.S.
Nationality	American
Other names	Jeffbro, big guy, Jethro J
Occupation	Cat
Years active	2017-present
Known for	Being a cat
Notable work	Being a cat
Political party	Republican

Jethro was born on August 4, 2017, in Spokane Valley, Washington. He, along with Zeeva Z, Hadley and Deacon were all adopted in April 2018, and lived in Liberty Lake, Washington until December 2021.

Jethro, along with Hadley and Deacon made an alliance called the "Triple Entente", in 2018, against Zeeva Z, and have had various squabbles and disputes against her since then.

Jethro is the "nicest" cat of them all. However, he is a scaredy cat.

December 2021 — July 2022

From December 12, 2021 until July 16, 2022, all of the cats went back to the shelter they were in 4 years previously.

Personal life

Jethro has one sibling, Zeeva Z. He is a heavy cat, and weighs over 20 pounds, and earned the nickname "big guy" (all lowercase) because of his weight. Jethro is apparently a Republican, how, who knows?!

Hadley the Cat

Hadley the Cat (born October 10, 2017) is an American cat. She was the sister of Deacon the Cat.

Hadley the Cat
Official portrait, 2024
Born	Hadley the Cat (2017-10-10) October 10, 2017 near Eastern Washington, U.S.
Nationality	American
Other names	Hadley Girl, Hadley Badley, Hadley Badgley
Occupation	Cat
Years active	2017-present
Known for	Being a cat
Notable work	Being a cat
Political party	Green

Hadley was born in October 2017, presumed October 10, near or in Eastern Washington (presumed) Deer Park. She, along with Zeeva Z, Jethro and Deacon were all adopted in April 2018, and lived in Liberty Lake, Washington until December 2021.

Hadley, along with Jethro and Deacon made an alliance called the "Triple Entente", in 2018, against Zeeva Z, and have had various squabbles and disputes against her since then.

Hadley is the scardiest of the cats as they come. Good luck finding her unless she hears the food bowls coming out or if it is playtime.

December 2021 – July 2022

From December 12, 2021 until July 16, 2022, all of the cats went back to the shelter they were in 4 years previously.

Personal life

Hadley currently has 4 living siblings. Hadley is apparently apart of the Green Party, how, who knows?!

Deacon the Cat

Deacon the Cat (October 10, 2017 – October 13, 2024) was an American cat. He was the brother of Hadley the Cat.

Deacon the Cat
Image of a cat that resembled Deacon
Born	Deacon the Cat (2017-10-10)October 10, 2017 near Felony Flats, Washington, U.S.
Died	October 13, 2024(2024-10-13) (aged 7) Eastern Washington, U.S.
Nationality	American
Other names	Deacon Boy, Breadcon, Dakken
Occupation	Cat
Years active	2017–2024
Known for	Being a cat
Notable work	Being a cat
Political party	Green (until 2020) Democratic (2020–2024) Republican (2024)

Deacon was born in October 2017, presumed October 10, near or in Eastern Washington (presumed) Felony Flats. He, along with Zeeva Z, Jethro and Hadley were all adopted in April 2018, and lived in Liberty Lake, Washington until December 2021.

Deacon, along with Hadley and Jethro made an alliance called the "Triple Entente", in 2018, against Zeeva Z and have had various squabbles and disputes against her since then.

Deacon was the weirdest of them all. He will sometimes pass by, however slinking down when you try to pet him. The only time he would tolerate you is when he was hungry.

December 2021 – July 2022

From December 12, 2021 until July 16, 2022, all of the cats went back to the shelter they were in 4 years previously.

Personal life and death

Deacon was apart of the Green Party until 2020, Democratic Party from 2020 to 2024, and the Republican Party until his death.

Deacon died on October 13, 2024 likely of cancer, however death is not fully known. He was 7 years old (or 44 in cat years), and is lived on by his sister Hadley the Cat and his 4 siblings.

beef boss

Beef Nancy Boss (stylized as and better known as beef boss) (born January 5, 1990) is a fictional American character. While first appearing as a character in Fortnite back in 2017, he is now the main character on the Poofesure channel.

beef boss

— Wikipedian ♂ —
beef boss in 1990
Born	Beef Nancy Boss (1990-01-05) January 5, 1990 Potomac, Maryland, U.S.
Pronouns	He/Him
Nationality	American, Japanese
Current location	Japan
Languages	English, Japanese
Ethnicity	Hamburger
Hair	Bald
Eyes	Green
Family and friends
Marital status	Married
Spouse	Abby Boss ​ (m. 2019)​
Children	3 (Alfie, Heidi and Dexter)

Early years

Beef Nancy Boss was born in Potomac, Maryland on January 5, 1990, and moved in February 1999 to Cary, North Carolina. Since most Mii's (in Tomodachi Life) were born on January 1, 1990, this makes beef boss younger than most Mii's, including Abby by 4 days.

First appearance

We do not know much about beef boss from February 1999 to July 2019, other than he appeared in Fortnite back in 2017.

On July 9, 2019, beef boss first appeared on the Poofesure channel, he was starting off in Wii Sports, specifically baseball. Ironically the first pitch beef boss hit (on screen) was a ball caught by his future wife, Abby. The next time around beef boss hit a foul ball, and then an out. One of the first words that Poofesure said about beef boss was "beef boss, you were my man!" The next few turns, beef boss is shown catching a ball for the end of the first inning, in which they got a mercy rule. In his last game he had an out and played as the catcher. In the final game shown in beef boss's first appearance was a win to Marco, 18 to 5.

Personal life

beef boss has been married to Abby Boss since 2019, they have three children together. However, it has been debated that they may have divorced in 2021, since Poofesure started a new Tomodachi Life and broke up with beef boss, however, most people have beef boss and Abby still together.

Abby

Abigail Titties Boss (born January 1, 1990) is a fictional Japanese character. While first appearing as a character in Wii Sports back in 2006, she is known best for being married to the main character on the Poofesure channel, beef boss.

Abby Boss

— Wikipedian ♀ —
Humanized version of Abby (in 2012)
Born	Abigail Titties Boss (1990-01-01) January 1, 1990 Kyoto, Japan
Pronouns	She/Her
Nationality	Japanese
Current location	Japan
Languages	English, Japanese
Ethnicity	Caucasian
Hair	Blonde
Eyes	Blue
Family and friends
Marital status	Married
Spouse	beef boss ​ (m. 2019)​
Children	3 (Alfie, Heidi and Dexter)

Early years

Abigail Titties Boss was born in Kyoto, Japan on January 1, 1990.

Personal life

Abby has been married to beef boss since 2019, they have three children together. However, it has been debated that they may have divorced in 2021, since Poofesure started a new Tomodachi Life and broke up with beef boss, however, most people have Abby and beef boss still together.

YOU MAY HAVE WON THIS BATTLE, BUT I WILL WIN THE WAR

This is a list of all missed field goals in the 2023 NFL season.

Week 1

Game	Name	Distance	Hash	Blocked	Missed	Doinked
Browns vs. Bengals	Evan McPherson	51	Right	No	Right	No
Seahawks vs. Rams	Brett Maher	57	Right	Yes	N/A	No
Seahawks vs. Rams	Jason Myers	39	Left	No	Right	Yes
Seahawks vs. Rams	Brett Maher	56	Left	No	Right	No
Broncos vs. Raiders	Wil Lutz	55	Right	No	Right	No
Giants vs. Cowboys	Graham Gano	45	Left	Yes	N/A	No
Giants vs. Cowboys	Graham Gano	36	Right	No	Left	No

Week 2

Game	Name	Distance	Hash	Blocked	Missed	Doinked
Eagles vs. Vikings	Jake Elliott	55	Left	No	Right	No
Bengals vs. Ravens	Justin Tucker	59	Left	No	Right	No
Buccaneers vs. Bears	Chase McLaughlin	40	Left	Yes	N/A	No
Lions vs. Seahawks	Jason Myers	45	Left	No	Left	No
Lions vs. Seahawks	Jason Myers	56	Right	No	Left	No
Texans vs. Colts	Kaʻimi Fairbairn	51	Middle	No	Left	No
Cardinals vs. Giants	Matt Prater	55	Left	No	Left	No
Broncos vs. Commanders	Joey Slye	49	Right	No	Right	No
Broncos vs. Commanders	Joey Slye	59	Left	No	Right	No
Patriots vs. Dolphins	Jason Sanders	49	Right	Yes	N/A	No
Patriots vs. Dolphins	Jason Sanders	55	Left	No	Left	No
Steelers vs. Browns	Dustin Hopkins	43	Left	No	Left	No

Week 3

Game	Name	Distance	Hash	Blocked	Missed	Doinked
Jaguars vs. Texans	Brandon McManus	48	Right	No	Right	No
Jets vs. Patriots	Chad Ryland	48	Middle	No	Right	No
Jaguars vs. Texans	Brandon McManus	51	Right	Yes	N/A	No
Jets vs. Patriots	Chad Ryland	57	Right	No	Left	No
Vikings vs. Chargers	Cameron Dicker	53	Right	No	Left	No
Lions vs. Falcons	Younghoe Koo	47	Left	No	Right	No
Packers vs. Saints	Blake Grupe	46	Left	No	Right	No
Ravens vs. Colts	Justin Tucker	61	Left	No	Short	No
Seahawks vs. Panthers	Eddy Piñeiro	55	Left	No	Right	No
Bengals vs. Rams	Evan McPherson	56	Left	No	Left	No

Week 4

Game	Name	Distance	Hash	Blocked	Missed	Doinked
Colts vs. Rams	Matt Gay	47	Left	No	Right	No
Colts vs. Rams	Brett Maher	46	Right	No	Left	No
Colts vs. Rams	Brett Maher	48	Left	No	Left	No
Cowboys vs. Patriots	Chad Ryland	52	Middle	No	Right	No
Jets vs. Chiefs	Greg Zuerlein	52	Right	No	Right	Yes
Giants vs. Seahawks	Jason Myers	53	Right	No	Left	No

Week 5

Game	Name	Distance	Hash	Blocked	Missed	Doinked
Commanders vs. Bears	Joey Slye	46	Left	No	Right	No
Dolphins vs. Giants	Graham Gano	55	Left	No	Left	No
Patriots vs. Saints	Chad Ryland	48	Left	No	Left	No
Raiders vs. Packers	Daniel Carlson	53	Middle	No	Left	No
Raiders vs. Packers	Daniel Carlson	52	Left	No	Right	Yes

Week 6

Game	Name	Distance	Hash	Blocked	Missed	Doinked
Browns vs. 49ers	Jake Moody	54	Left	No	Left	No
Texans vs. Saints	Blake Grupe	52	Left	No	Right	No
Browns vs. 49ers	Dustin Hopkins	47	Right	No	Left	No
Dolpins vs. Panthers	Eddy Piñeiro	43	Left	No	Right	No
Bears vs. Vikings	Greg Joseph	57	Left	No	Right	No
Texans vs. Saints	Blake Grupe	29	Right	No	Left	No
Browns vs. 49ers	Jake Moody	41	Middle	No	Right	No
Buccaneers vs. Lions	Riley Patterson	52	Right	No	Right	No
Seahawks vs. Cardinals	Matt Prater	34	Right	No	Left	No
Jets vs. Eagles	Jake Elliott	37	Left	No	Right	No
Bills vs. Giants	Tyler Bass	52	Left	No	Right	No
Bills vs. Giants	Tyler Bass	53	Left	No	Right	No

Week 7

Game	Name	Distance	Hash	Blocked	Missed	Doinked
Saints vs. Jaguars	Blake Grupe	51	Right	No	Right	No
Texans vs. Saints	Daniel Carlson	41	Left	No	Left	No
Giants vs. Commanders	Graham Gano	42	Left	No	Right	No
Colts vs. Browns	Matt Gay	60	Left	Yes	N/A	No
Patriots vs. Bills	Tyler Bass	42	Middle	No	Right	No
Giants vs. Commanders	Joey Slye	27	Right	Yes	N/A	No
Rams vs. Steelers	Brett Maher	53	Right	No	Left	Yes
Broncos vs. Packers	Anders Carlson	43	Left	No	Right	No
Rams vs. Steelers	Brett Maher	51	Right	No	Left	No
Vikings vs. 49ers	Jake Moody	40	Right	No	Right	No
Vikings vs. 49ers	Greg Joseph	50	Left	No	Right	No

Week 8

Game	Name	Distance	Hash	Blocked	Missed	Doinked
Bills vs. Buccaneers	Chase McLaughlin	50	Right	Yes	N/A	No
Packers vs. Vikings	Greg Joseph	42	Right	No	Right	No
Giants vs. Jets	Graham Gano	47	Left	No	Left	No
Cardinals vs. Ravens	Justin Tucker	53	Left	No	Left	Yes
Steelers vs. Jaguars	Chris Boswell	61	Left	No	Right	No
Packers vs. Vikings	Greg Joseph	44	Left	Yes	N/A	No
Giants vs. Jets	Graham Gano	35	Right	No	Left	No
49ers vs. Bengals	Evan McPherson	50	Left	No	Right	No
Broncos vs. Chiefs	Wil Lutz	38	Right	Yes	N/A	No
Vikings vs. 49ers	Riley Patterson	26	Left	No	Right	No

Week 9

Game	Name	Distance	Hash	Blocked	Missed	Doinked
Saints vs. Bears	Cairo Santos	40	Right	No	Right	Yes
Packers vs. Rams	Anders Carlson	48	Right	No	Left	No
Packers vs. Rams	Lucas Havrisik	49	Right	No	Right	No
Browns vs. Cardinals	Dustin Hopkins	48	Right	No	Left	No
Saints vs. Bears	Blake Grupe	47	Left	No	Left	Yes

Week 10

Game	Name	Distance	Hash	Blocked	Missed	Doinked
Bears vs. Panthers	Eddy Piñeiro	59	Left	No	Short	No
Patriots vs. Colts	Matt Gay	57	Middle	No	Short	No
Patriots vs. Colts	Chad Ryland	35	Right	No	Right	No
Buccaneers vs. Titans	Nick Folk	51	Right	No	Right	No
Ravens vs. Browns	Justin Tucker	55	Middle	Yes	N/A	No
Vikings vs. Saints	Greg Joseph	54	Left	No	Right	No

Week 11

Game	Name	Distance	Hash	Blocked	Missed	Doinked
Ravens vs. Bengals	Evan McPherson	53	Right	No	Left	No
Packets vs. Chargers	Anders Carlson	52	Middle	No	Right	No
Texans vs. Cardinals	Matt Ammendola	48	Left	No	Left	No
Dolphins vs. Raiders	Jason Sanders	50	Left	No	Left	No
Rams vs. Seahawks	Jason Myers	55	Left	No	Right	No

Week 12

Game	Name	Distance	Hash	Blocked	Missed	Doinked
Lions vs. Packers	Anders Carlson	63	Right	No	Short	No
Seahawks vs. 49ers	Jason Myers	53	Left	No	Right	No
Texans vs. Jaguars	Matt Ammendola	50	Left	No	Right	No
Colts vs. Buccaneers	Matt Gay	58	Right	No	Left	Yes
Texans vs. Jaguars	Brandon McManus	55	Left	No	Right	No
Texans vs. Jaguars	Matt Ammendola	58	Left	No	Short	Yes
Falcons vs. Saints	Blake Grupe	54	Left	No	Left	No
Giants vs. Patriots	Chad Ryland	35	Right	No	Left	No
Raiders vs. Chiefs	Daniel Carlson	30	Right	No	Left	No
Cardinals vs. Rams	Lucas Havrisik	50	Left	No	Right	No
Eagles vs. Bills	Tyler Bass	34	Right	No	Left	No
Eagles vs. Bills	Tyler Bass	48	Right	No	Right	No
Cardinals vs. Rams	Matt Prater	56	Left	No	Right	No
Ravens vs. Chargers	Justin Tucker	44	Right	No	Left	No
Vikings vs. Bears	Cairo Santos	48	Right	No	Right	No

Week 13

Game	Name	Distance	Hash	Blocked	Missed	Doinked
Cowboys vs. Seahawks	Jason Myers	42	Right	No	Right	No
Steelers vs. Cardinals	Chris Boswell	45	Right	No	Right	No
Commanders vs. Dolphins	Joey Slye	53	Left	No	Right	No
Rams vs. Browns	Lucas Havrisik	43	Left	No	Right	No
Jaguars vs. Bengals	Evan McPherson	57	Right	No	Short	Yes
Jaguars vs. Bengals	Brandon McManus	48	Left	No	Right	No

Week 14

Game	Name	Distance	Hash	Blocked	Missed	Doinked
Saints vs. Panthers	Blake Grupe	29	Right	No	Left	No
Bengals vs. Colts	Matt Gay	38	Left	No	Left	Yes
Falcons vs. Buccaneers	Younghoe Koo	50	Left	No	Right	Yes
Falcons vs. Buccaneers	Younghoe Koo	52	Left	No	Left	No
Saints vs. Panthers	Eddy Piñeiro	41	Right	No	Left	Yes
Raiders vs. Vikings	Greg Joseph	49	Left	No	Right	No
Giants vs. Packers	Randy Bullock	48	Left	No	Right	No
Dolphins vs. Titans	Jason Sanders	44	Left	Yes	N/A	No
Giants vs. Packers	Anders Carlson	45	Left	No	Left	No

Week 15

Game	Name	Distance	Hash	Blocked	Missed	Doinked
Colts vs. Steelers	Matt Gay	56	Middle	No	Left	No
Colts vs. Steelers	Matt Gay	43	Right	No	Right	Yes
Patriots vs. Chiefs	Harrison Butker	39	Right	No	Right	No
Patriots vs. Chiefs	Chad Ryland	41	Left	No	Left	No
Rams vs. Commanders	Lucas Havrisik	43	Left	No	Right	No
Jaguars vs. Ravens	Brandon McManus	50	Left	No	Right	Yes
Jaguars vs. Ravens	Brandon McManus	55	Right	No	Left	No

Week 16

Game	Name	Distance	Hash	Blocked	Missed	Doinked
Rams vs. Saints	Lucas Havrisik	47	Left	No	Left	No
Buccaneers vs. Jaguars	Brandon McManus	52	Left	No	Right	No
Broncos vs. Patriots	Chad Ryland	47	Left	No	Right	No
Broncos vs. Patriots	Wil Lutz	57	Right	No	Left	No
Chiefs vs. Raiders	Harrison Butker	36	Left	No	Left	No

Week 17

Game	Name	Distance	Hash	Blocked	Missed	Doinked
Browns vs. Jets	Greg Zuerlein	31	Right	Yes	N/A	No
Bears vs. Falcons	Younghoe Koo	50	Right	No	Short	No
Bears vs. Falcons	Younghoe Koo	42	Right	No	Left	Yes
Bills vs. Patriots	Chad Ryland	47	Right	No	Left	No
Bears vs. Falcons	Cairo Santos	55	Left	No	Short	No
Giants vs. Rams	Mason Crosby	54	Middle	No	Left	No
Broncos vs. Chargers	Wil Lutz	48	Right	No	Right	No
Broncos vs. Chargers	Cameron Dicker	50	Left	No	Right	No

Week 18

Game	Name	Distance	Hash	Blocked	Missed	Doinked
Colts vs. Texans	Matt Gay	57	Left	No	Right	Yes
Patriots vs. Jets	Greg Zuerlein	49	Right	No	Right	Yes
Panthers vs. Buccaneers	Matthew Wright	52	Left	No	Right	No
Commanders vs. Cowboys	Brandon Aubrey	32	Right	Yes	N/A	No
Packers vs. Bears	Anders Carlson	41	Left	No	Left	No
49ers vs. Rams	Jake Moody	38	Right	No	Right	Yes
Commanders vs. Cowboys	Brandon Aubrey	38	Middle	No	Left	Yes
Giants vs. Eagles	Mason Crosby	45	Right	No	Left	Yes
Cardinals vs. Seahawks	Matt Prater	43	Middle	No	Right	No
Cardinals vs. Seahawks	Matt Prater	51	Left	No	Right	No

Summary

In total, there were 149 missed field goals in the 2023 NFL season, and the most field goal missed in a week was Week 12, with 15. Chad Ryland missed the most field goals with 9, and the least (with more than 20 attempts) was Nick Folk, with only 1 missed in week 10, Brandon Aubrey was the leader until week 18, going 35 of 35 field goal attempts, which he went 1 of 3, and finished the season 36 of 38. The most attempted field goals was Jason Myers with 42, and the longest field goal was 62 by Matt Prater, one yard longer than Jake Elliott and Joey Slye, followed by Brandon Aubrey and Harrison Butker at 60 yards.