User:SamDaisyRose/Evaluate an Article

Which article are you evaluating?

Amarna letters

Why you have chosen this article to evaluate?

The article I chose was the Amarna letters. The reason I chose it was because of their importance to Ancient Egyptian diplomacy. this article requires an incredible amount of detail to represent all perspectives. The article needs serious changes before it can reach that point.

Evaluate the article

The Lead

• The first two paragraphs of the lead are exactly what would be expected of a good introduction to learning about the Amarna Letters. They are both small and digestible making it easy to delve right into the topic of the letters.
• The third paragraph strays from the essential purpose of the lead. The third paragraph goes on to talk about the fragments of the letters. This information can be added to the lead, but it has to be relevant later in the article as well. Talking about Norwegian Assyriologist Jørgen Alexander Knudtzon can be useful, but that is information for later in the article to not over-saturate the lead.
• The fourth paragraph is more general compared to the third paragraph. However, parts of this paragraph do not connect with the main body of the article. To fix this, I would incorporate more information about the topic talked about in the fourth paragraph into the body content. Similarly to the third paragraph.
• Overall, all information present is important, it just needs to be presented effectively.

The Content

• The first section talks about the letters themselves. the first paragraph mimics the paragraphs in the introduction.
• the second paragraph talks about which institution holds the fragments of the letter. This information is relevant, but I think there could be a separate section that deals with the letters and their current status could be put in a different section. There is a lot to say about the letters and their current condition such as; where they are held, who found them, and when/where they were found. Giving this information its own space allows for clarity on the subject and more room for an explanation of the contents of the letter itself.
• The third paragraph goes into detail about who sent the letters and where they were sent from. This information is very relevant to this section as it is typically addressed within the first lines of the Amarna. This section provides an outline for the locations and travel between the letters.
• To change this section, I would make the third paragraph the second paragraph. I would then add more information on what the letters address themselves.
• This article is missing major information about the Amarna letters as well. For example, there is little mention of the relationship the ancient communities had with one another and there is also no mention of vassal states. Both being crucial points in understand the full context in which these letters exist in.

Tone and Balance

• It lacks diversity in talking about its content. This is because of the lack of sources. Due to that lack of information, there is a singular lens that is used throughout the discussion of the article.
• The article uses a perspective that focuses on Ancient Egypt without giving a full perspective of the other communities that exchanged letters with Egypt.

Sources

• I would also consider a significant portion of these sources to be out of date. The most recent being from 2023 and the oldest being from 1889.
• This Wiki page does lack diversity in its references as a majority of them are both considered out of date and strictly from Western countries.
• Only some of the links to articles worked and some didn't even have links to begin with.
• Overall this article requires some serious updates to its format, information, perspective, and references.

Organization and Writing

• The writing of the article is clear and concise
• There are no overwhelming spelling or grammatical mistakes that made it hard to understand this article.
• The organization could use some work. The transitions between paragraphs are minimal and jumping into different topics is jarring. I think this problem mostly occurs in the lead, but the lead is supposed to provide the most relevant information quickly and I feel as if there are better ways to do that.
• This problem also ties in with the outdated sources. as newer and more information might help fill the holes in the article.

Pictures and Images

• This article does contain images of the letters themselves. While I don't expect the article to contain an image of every single letter, there are still very few images of them. The pictures are clumped together in the lead and at the very bottom of the article, spreading them out may improve the flow of the article.
• There is a map that shows the ancient communities and their outlines which helps understand the spatial distance in which these letters traveled.

Talk Page

• the talk page is small compared to other articles. There don't seem to be much active debates going on, but rather fact-checking with other people.
• The last time someone posted to this talk page was December 2024, which is very recent but the second to last message posted on the talk page was on March 2015.

Overall Impressions

• This article requires work in some areas. Such as; format, information, pictures, references, and perspective.
• This article does provide a direct list of all the letters, who sent them, and who they were sent to. This information can be very helpful in gaining a baseline understanding of the subject.
• However, there is a lack of total understanding of the subject as the information comes from outdated sources and comes from strictly Western countries.
• Overall the article is underdeveloped but has the potential to be better.