User:Luke chatelain

Lucas(Luke)Jens Chatelain(January 17, 1987-???) began his life in the quaint city of Fargo, North Dakota, and before you ask: yes, the movie Fargo is in reference to the same place; yes, it is surprisingly accurate to what life in the northern midwest of america is like but sadly no, i have never heard of anyone being murdered in by their woodchipper. It did not take Lucas long to understand his calling as a genius, but sadly there simply isn't much of a demand for people who are incredibly bright back in those days as could be made evident by the choice of Regan as president of the United States, but Luke was not to be discouraged by this small trifle, he was earnest to carry on just like any normal child with an IQ greatly above that of average people. He mastered Spanish, as well as numerous instruments and was said to be on his way to becoming a Latin-Pop sensation until one dreadful day Ricki Martin, discouraged by his failures in the band menudo made his reapearance on the music charts. People found that Martin's minimal use of the spanish language and lyrics devoid of any real substance to be hypnotic and sadly, once again, Lucas found himself on the streets without a job. The thirteen year old Lucas, went back to living with his parents in shame and began attending public schooling to pass the time. It was here that Luke fell in Love with his first true romantic interest. The Girl was a young, spunky fourteen year old, for the girl's protection her identy is being protected and she will simply be refered to as L. Lohan. But Lucas soon grew tired of her and left her, for another who will simply be called M. Moore. It should also be stated that Wilmer Valderrama is a very close and personal friend of Chatelain and claims that it was thanks to Lucas that he would have hooked up with either Linsay L. or Mandy M. (once again the names have been compromised in order to protect the private identities of the people in question). Chatelain's other claims to fame include his tramatic experience of surviving a nasty CD to the chest which was the result of a nasty head on collision which caused a CD sitting upon the dashboard to fly back and nail Lucas straight in the Rib Cage. Normally a CD moving at such high speeds should have cut straight through the bone and penetrate the heart but luckily Lucas had seen a Got Milk? comercial earlier in the day and made sure to make due on the ad's advice. Chatelain was also in a two man band with John Mayer for a short period of time until he realized that Mayer is a huge poser and immediatly dropped out after making the discovery. Curently Lucas is attending The University of Vermont studying Japanese, English, and Religion and has hopes of becoming a Minister in Japan and converting all of the poor unsaved souls of the island nation.*

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