This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous.
Such material is not meant to be taken seriously.

The Creature

The Creature is an entity that is not widely understood or known about.

Very little information^[hyperbole] is known about it, but what is known is this;

The Creature is real.
The Creature is hostile.
The Creature is deadly.^{[understatement]}

There are only a few known ways to escape The Creature.

The Zip

Method

The Zip is a method of escape involving the use of several well placed electromagnets in a tetrahedral shape around The Creature. When the magnets are activated, it disrupts The Creature's internal magnetic Compass. This allows enough time to escape to a safe distance.

Feasibility

Unfortunately, due to the amount of setup required to perform this method, it has been deemed unsafe by most experts.

Sploinking

Sploinking is an exotic method involving several Trampolines and a heavy object to lure The Creature away.

Not much is known of this method, as it has only worked successfully two times.

The Substance

A easy and well known escape method, involving covering oneself with a mixture of Mud and the juice of Basil.

Hand-To-Hand Combat

This is a dangerous method of escape, and has only ever been seen in action one time.

Experts have speculated the story to be a hoax, and using this method is discouraged.