사용자토론:Apple Criticism(애플비판)

Hello, Im Hyunseo Nam. I recently read your article.This article provides a well-organized overview of various criticisms directed at Apple Inc., which I found informative and valuable. It not only covers widely discussed issues such as labor exploitation and App Store monopoly practices, but also highlights less frequently addressed topics like ecosystem lock-in and tax avoidance, contributing to a deeper understanding of the subject. The inclusion of recent cases—such as the 2024 U.S. antitrust lawsuit and rulings by the European Union—adds a sense of timeliness and relevance. However, the overall tone of the article leans strongly toward criticism, which may give the impression of a one-sided perspective. Including Apple's responses or examples of policy changes (e.g., expansion of the right to repair, environmental initiatives) could help balance the narrative. Additionally, some parts of the article lack citations or rely on general statements. To meet Wikipedia’s standards, it would be beneficial to provide more concrete sources and references to support those points. Hyunseo050907 (토론) 2025년 5월 12일 (월) 00:15 (KST)

Article Translation Task Feedback - Kim Gyuri

<good thing>

1. Topic Choice Covering the Hangang Street Performance Festival is a great choice, as it highlights local cultural events that are underrepresented on Wikipedia.

2. Clear Purpose You’ve successfully conveyed the general purpose of the festival and its connection to public space and community involvement.

3. Concise Overview The article stays focused without going off-topic. The basic structure of description → programs → participants is logical and easy to follow.

<Improvement>

1. Expand Content The article is currently quite short. Consider adding more detail about the festival’s origin, organizing body (e.g., Seoul Foundation for Arts and Culture), audience size, and its evolution over time.

2. Citations While one reference is included, it would strengthen the article to add more reliable secondary sources—news reports, press releases, or academic articles. Try using `<ref>` tags for inline citations.

3. Neutral Tone Some phrases like “많은 시민들이 참여하고 즐겼다” can be interpreted as subjective. Consider rephrasing in a more encyclopedic style, such as “The festival drew a sizable audience over the weekend.”

4. Language and Style A few phrases could be polished for formal tone. For example, instead of "이 행사는 시민들의 참여를 유도했다," you might write, "The event aimed to encourage public participation."

5. Internal Links and Categories Once you move this to the main namespace, you could link related articles such as 한강, 서울문화재단, or 공공예술. Also, add relevant categories (e.g., Festivals in Seoul, Street performance in South Korea).

Overall, you're on the right track! With a bit more elaboration and sourcing, your article can become an informative and 김규리05 (토론) 2025년 5월 12일 (월) 13:01 (KST)

Article Translation Task Feedback - NAM HYUNSEO

Hello, Im Hyunseo Nam. I recently read your article.This article provides a well-organized overview of various criticisms directed at Apple Inc., which I found informative and valuable. It not only covers widely discussed issues such as labor exploitation and App Store monopoly practices, but also highlights less frequently addressed topics like ecosystem lock-in and tax avoidance, contributing to a deeper understanding of the subject. The inclusion of recent cases—such as the 2024 U.S. antitrust lawsuit and rulings by the European Union—adds a sense of timeliness and relevance. However, the overall tone of the article leans strongly toward criticism, which may give the impression of a one-sided perspective. Including Apple's responses or examples of policy changes (e.g., expansion of the right to repair, environmental initiatives) could help balance the narrative. Additionally, some parts of the article lack citations or rely on general statements. To meet Wikipedia’s standards, it would be beneficial to provide more concrete sources and references to support those points. Hyunseo050907 (토론) 2025년 6월 24일 (화) 14:10 (KST)