Fear of commitment
In self-help literature, fear of commitment is the avoidance of long-term partnership or marriage.[citation needed] The concept is often much more pervasive, affecting school, work, and home life as well.[citation needed]
The term "commitmentphobia" was coined in the popular self-help book Men Who Can't Love in 1987.[1] Following criticism of the perceived sexist idea that only men were commitmentphobic, the authors provided a more gender balanced model of commitmentphobia in a later work, He's Scared, She's Scared (1995).[2] When aversion to marriage involves fear it's called scottophobia.[3] A hatred of marriage is called misogamy.[4]
Love and commitment are not mutually true inclusive; it's possible for someone to have love for their partner but still have problems with commitment.
Commitment
The state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc. [5] Commitment applies to many aspects of life including teams and work. Managing complex projects is not an easy task. When several people are working towards the same goal there must be a level of commitment given by every team member in order to achieve a desirable outcome. Traditionally it falls on the shoulders of the project manager to ensure any problems that may arise are addressed.
Ways to improve/build commitment
- Find the Desire behind the Fear
- Fulfill that Desire
- Creating a Relationship that Fulfills that Desire
Fear of commitment in group situations
Fears of commitment can harm any type of relationship, whether that is with an significant other or another person, can harm the workplace. Emotions reflects on others and when employees come to work with negative emotions it spreads throughout the entire workplace, influencing the work productivity.
Building commitment at work
- Ensuring team members feel valued
- Volunteer involvement
- Build clarity around roles and responsibilities
- Foster a sense of Trust
- Challenge your Team
- Accepting failure
- Accept creativity and ideas
Criticism
Besides the common criticisms of self-help, Harvard psychologist Deborah DePaulo has written books such as Singleism on the stigmatization of single people.
The use of the term "fear" or "phobia" imparts an inherent linguistic bias. It recasts specific lifestyle decisions (such as bachelorhood vs. marriage, or a conscious decision to remain childfree by choice) implicitly as generalised, irrational phobias while failing to identify, describe or address an individual's specific motives. For instance, the men's rights movement, citing high divorce rates and expensive alimony and legal costs, would speak not in terms of fear of commitment but of marriage strike to reflect their position that non-marriage is an entirely valid, logical position based on rational consideration of the economic factors involved.[6][7][8]
See also
- Alimony
- Bachelor
- Child custody
- Divorce
- Implications of divorce
- Lad culture
- Old maid
- Sexual revolution
References
- ^ Steven A. Carter & Julia Sokol (1987). Men Who Can't Love. M. Evans & Co. ISBN 978-0-425-11170-3.
- ^ Steven A. Carter & Julia Sokol (1995). He's Scared, She's Scared. M. Evans & Co. ISBN 978-0-440-50625-6.
- ^ Kantha, Sachi Sri, and Saori Yamamoto. "Medical Aspects in Tackling Fertility Decline among Japanese." International Medical Journal 22.6 (2015): 450-452
- ^ Ben-Rafael, Eliezer, and Sasha Weitman. "The reconstitution of the family in the kibbutz." European Journal of Sociology 25.01 (1984): 1-27.
- ^ "commitment - Google Search". www.google.com. Retrieved 2020-10-05.
- ^ Glenn Sacks; Dianna Thompson (2002-07-09). "Have Anti-Father Family Court Policies Led to a Men's Marriage Strike?". ifeminists.com. Retrieved 2013-07-15.
- ^ Helen Smith (4 June 2013). "The Marriage Strike: why men don't marry". Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream-And Why It Matters. ENCOUNTER BOOKS. pp. 1–39. ISBN 978-1-59403-675-0.
- ^ Wendy McElroy (2003-08-12). "The Marriage Strike". Fox News - Opinion. Retrieved 2013-07-15.