Fear of commitment

A pathological fear of long-term partnership and/or marriage. Also used more broadly to describe paralysis in decision making.

In romantic relationships, the paradox is that the commitmentphobe craves what he/she fears most: love and connection. This leads to a confusing and destructive pattern of seduction and rejection that is generally experienced by the love object as emotionally devestating. Generally attributed exclusively to males, it is well-documented that commitmentphobia is not gender-specific.

Though this behavior has been documented for some time (see references below), the word commitmentphobia (no space, no hyphen) was actually coined in the 1987 New York Times Bestseller "MEN WHO CAN'T LOVE" by Steven A. Carter and Julia Sokol (M.Evans & Co. Publishing). Interestingly, in 1987 the publisher was afraid to print the word commitmentphobia on the book jacket, fearing it sounded "too scientific and off-putting." Within one year, the phrase commitmentphobia had become popular American jargon and the sub-title of the book was changed to include the phrase "commitmentphobic."

== SOURCES: ==

MEN WHO CAN'T LOVE by Steven A. Carter and Julia Sokol (ISBN: 0425111709)
THE PROBLEM OF PUER AETERNUS by Marie-Louise von Franz (ISBN: 0919123880)
THE PETER PAN SYNDROME by Dan Kiley (ISBN: 0396082181)
HE'S SCARED, SHE'S SCARED by Steven A. Carter and Julia Sokol (ISBN: 0440506255)