Wikipedia:Secret cabal mind control science experiment
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You must participate in this experiment. All Wikipedians are part of it. We nice people of SCREW have brainwashed every Wikipedian into hating the fun-loving vandals. We love seeing this useless conflict occur and we fuel the vandals that we love so much, just to make the conflict turn into war. We love chaos! And you are going to be subsumed into our project. It will start in 5...4...3...2...just kidding. We aren't running a single mind control experiment and we love fighting vandalism!