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Emotional self-regulation, also known as emotion regulation (at times abbreviated to ER when unambiguous) means the various conscious skills and unconscious processes a person uses, and the competences a person engages, to monitor and manage their experience and expression of, and responses to, emotion. Technically it has been defined both in terms of change in emotion (maintaining, changing, monitoring and modulating emotional stance emotional reactions, for example in light of cultural norms or desired goals), and more recently in terms of activity and processes engaged prior to change of emotion; there is continuing debate among experts as to the better definition. A simple definition was offered by Grolnick et al (1996, 2005) as broadly "the set of processes involved in initiating, maintaining and modulating emotional responsiveness, both positive and negative".[1] Emotional regulation is a complex process that involves initiating, inhibiting, or modulating one's state or behaviour in a given situation – for example the subjective experience (feelings), cognitive responses (thoughts), emotion-related physiological responses (for example heart rate or hormonal activity), and emotion-related behaviour (bodily actions or expressions).[2] Functionally, emotional regulation can also refer to processes such as the tendency to focus one's attention to a task and the ability to suppress inappropriate behavior under instruction.[3] Emotional regulation is a highly significant function in human life.[citation needed] Everyday people are continually exposed to an extreme variety of potentially arousing stimuli. Inappropriate, extreme or unchecked emotional reactions to such stimuli would impede functional fit within society, therefore at a practical level people must engage in some form of emotion regulation almost all of the time.[4] People are usually flexible in dealing to dealing with emotions and can effectively manage more extreme emotional states, but it is not uncommon for people to lack basic skills or awareness of emotional regulation at a cognitive level, or be impaired in usual regulation due to clinical or developmental reasons.[citation needed] For example, a number of brain injuries, traumas, and developmental, psychological and psychiatric conditions can also lead to poor emotional regulation.[citation needed] Such people are at times described as poor self-regulators. They may be people who get angry and take their frustration out on other people or themselves, and may also often unknowingly exhibit facial expressions that seem contrary to what is normative in a given situation. Poor self regulators are often deemed to be socially awkward because they are unable to control their (happy or sad) emotions properly.[citation needed]

Importance Humans are highly attuned to detecting the appropriateness of (various) facial expressions. They easily notice inconsistencies, and form judgments accordingly. People intuitively mimic facial expressions and can detect when behavior is out of the ordinary. When one wishes to mask true emotion, and thereby control what others see, one needs to be able to properly regulate emotion and facial expression. Humans have control over our facial expressions both consciously and unconsciously. This is why a young child will look utterly devastated when receiving a pair of underwear on Christmas morning, but a teenager is often able to muster a weak grin and even say thank you when that is not what they are truly feeling. He has learned the importance of masking his emotions in order to achieve a goal. Emotional self-regulation focuses on providing the appropriate emotion in the appropriate circumstance. If someone laughs at a funeral people will take notice of the odd behavior. If a man cries while watching something with his friends, he will be judged. If a woman acts cold and distant to her crying child, her friends will be taken aback. These are all instances when emotion regulation would be proper precautionary techniques, by knowing the appropriate reaction to a situation that won't arouse suspicions. Regulating emotions can also be used in a way to calm one's self down, or to refrain from contentious behavior or getting into a fight. ER is also a way to help relieve stress, one example: one might write in a journal about the significant parts of one's day. Healthy self-regulation reflects the capacity to tolerate the sensations of distress that accompany an unmet need. The first time an infant feels hunger, she feels discomfort, then distress and then she cries – until an attuned adult responds. After thousands of cycles of hunger, discomfort, distress, response, and satisfaction, the child (usually) learns that this feeling of discomfort, even distress, will soon pass. An adult will come. The attuned, responsive teacher helps the child build in the capacity to put a moment between the impulse and the action.[5] Therefore, young children who have yet to become successful self-regulators will yell and scream when they do not get their way over any number of things, for instance, taking turns. Over time children normally learn that everyone will get a turn, they just may have to wait a little longer than they'd like. The absence of yelling or throwing a fit in situations like these, is indicative of a child who has learned to 'self-regulate'. A still more complex instance of emotional self- regulation would be a teenager who masks disappointment (over a birthday gift that he or she did not like) with feigned gratitude. At this point, the teenager has regulated his emotions to avoid hurting his parents feelings. In addition to the smile and the "thank you", this involves a complex cognitive response. As one gets older one generally learns the advantages of appropriately self-regulating one's behaviors. Proper emotion regulation can help us mask our intentions or feelings and help us achieve our goals in the social realm. Proper regulation can also serve as a way to cool down after an argument. A failure to properly self-regulate can be associated with ineptitude, ingratitude and can be negatively correlated with 'liking' and 'acceptance' by peers.

In agitated states There are numerous instances of emotional self-regulation when in an agitated state. This would certainly be true of the 3 year old child who cries when he does not get what he wants. It would also be true of the seven year old who waits patiently to go to the toy section of the department store, while his mother looks at sheets. The seven year old has learned what the 3 year old has not. He has learned to regulate and control his frustration because he knows that if he does he will be rewarded, this is an example of a learned behavior. Children who demonstrate knowledge of learned behaviors are more likely to maintain attention and composure when working on difficult tasks. Children who can’t properly regulate their emotions run the risk of becoming social pariahs. Such social ineptitude is caused by continual and sustained absence of proper ER and is accumulative. How people deal with the emotion of anger is most revealing. People who properly regulate their emotions when they are angry may choose to let their frustration out in healthy ways; like exercising, or writing a letter about how they feel. Poor regulators don’t. Poor regulators tend to not consider such options as good enough and therefore lash out (in sometimes violent manners) because they lack the ability/skills to state how they feel in any other way.

Methods Some people utilize meditation and other stress reduction techniques such as mindfulness to help calm and soothe themselves and to maintain or regain composure, for some prayer and religious reflection are used in similar fashion. A commonly suggested method for calming younger people is the 'count to 20' – while slowly and taking deep breaths—technique. Sometimes a so-called 'time out' (or a long walk, see 'Exercise') is necessary or helpful to cool the nerves/emotions. Some people learn how to control their facial expressions and have an internal cooling down method. Sometimes all it takes is a little common sense to put feelings into perspective and overcome the bad experience.

Self-regulation of emotional stress According to Yu. V. Scherbatykh, emotional stress in situations like school examinations can be reduced by engaging in self-regulating activities prior to the task being performed. To study the influence of self-regulation on mental and physiological processes under exam stress, Shcerbatykh conducted a test with an experimental group of 28 students (of both sexes) and a control group of 102 students (also of both sexes).[6] In the moments before the examination, situational stress levels were raised in both groups from what they were in quiet states. In the experimental group, participants engaged in three self-regulating techniques (concentration on respiration, general body relaxation, and the creation of a mental image of successfully passing the examination). During the examination, the anxiety levels of the experimental group were lower than that of the control group. Also, the percent of unsatisfactory marks in the experimental group was 1.7 times less than in the control group. From this data, Scherbatykh concluded that the application of self-regulating actions before examinations helps to significantly reduce levels of emotional strain, which can help lead to better performance results.[6]

Shaping There are three possibilities for how a child’s self-regulation is formed. Some theorists argue that it is formed based solely on the child and how good the child is at emotionally self-regulating. Other theorists believe that our ability to regulate our emotions and behaviors are formed during school time. Many theorists claim that the ability is developed as early as the preschool years. They believe that the start of formal schooling is a critical point at which a child’s performance at school has lasting effects that matter for their academic success.[2] The last point argued by theorists is that emotion regulation is determined by the child’s socioeconomic status. Poverty is argued to have a negative impact on young children's emotional development by increasing infants’ risk of exposure to a set of prenatal and perinatal factors that negatively affect their neurological, attentional, and affective development.[6] It is necessary to note that most young children do not develop emotional and behavioral difficulty.

Effects of low self regulation With a failure in emotional regulation there is a rise in psychosocial and emotional dysfunctions[7] caused by traumatic experiences due to an inability to regulate emotions. These traumatic experiences typically happen in grade school and are sometimes associated with bullying. Children who can’t properly self-regulate express their volatile emotions in a variety of ways, including screaming if they don't have their way, lashing out with their fists, or bullying other children. Such behaviours often elicit negative reactions from the social environment, which, in turn, can exacerbate or maintain the original regulation problems over time, a process termed cumulative continuity. These children are more likely to have conflict based relationships with their teachers and other children. This can lead to more severe problems such as an impaired ability to adjust to school and predicts school dropout many years later. Children who fail to properly self-regulate grow as teenagers with more emerging problems. Their peers begin to notice this “immaturity”, and these children are often excluded from social groups and teased and harassed by their peers. This “immaturity” certainly causes some teenagers to become social pariahs in their respective social groups, causing them to lash out in angry and potentially violent ways. Being teased or being a pariah in your teenage years is especially damaging and could lead to a dysfunctional future, which is why it is extremely important to inculcate emotional self-regulation in children as early as possible.

In adults There are many categories through which people (primarily adults) can control or regulate their emotions, which can be further divided into other subcategories. There are also specific points before and after the emotion has been triggered. The two main strategies one can employ to regulate their emotions are: Antecedent-focused strategies and Response focused strategies. Antecedent-Focused Strategies refer to the things one does before they experience a certain emotion and can influence their behavior and physiological responses. This is basically when a person knows that certain stimuli can trigger negative emotions and chooses to avoid them. Response Focused strategies refers to what happens after the emotion has already been triggered and what the person might do to conceal the said emotion.[8] As stated earlier, there are different stages when a person can regulate an emotion as they develop, five of them to be exact: Selection of the Situation Modification of the Situation Deployment of Attention Change of Cognition Response Modulation[8] The selection of the situation refers to the situation the person chooses to be involved in that might cause her to react emotionally. Next, modification of the situation is when the circumstances of the situation can be made to soften its emotional impact. Thirdly, Deployment of Attention is the stage where a person chooses to focus on other parts of the situation at hand. Change of cognition is the way the person decides to interpret the situation like looking at the advantages of the situation or even putting it in context of other bigger events (i.e., looking at the bigger picture). Lastly, response modulation is the way a person reacts after the situation has already occurred by trying to sway them. Obviously, selection of a situation to change of cognition are associated with antecedent-focused strategies while only response modulation is a response focused strategy.

Strategies There are many strategies one can use to regulate their emotions; two of them are Reappraisal and Emotional Suppression (or Expressive Suppression or just Suppression).[8] Reappraisal is when a person changes the way they think about a specific emotion in order to lessen its impact. Reappraisal comes much earlier in the Emotional Regulation process, while Suppression is a means to restrain any external signs of the emotion and occurs after the emotion has happened. These two methods of concealing emotions have different consequences; the affective consequence, cognitive consequence and social consequence. In Reappraisal no negative Affective effects are present, but there are decreased expressive behavior but no “observable” physiological consequences. Affective Consequences on Suppression are a different matter. Increased physiological activation (i.e. during a study, the suppressed individuals has more blood vessel constriction than the control group.) and also decreased expressive behavior (similar to Reappraisal). It should also be mentioned that people using Reappraisal show no signs of disgust while the Suppressed group exhibited disgust. The Cognitive Consequences of Reappraisal was that it had no effects on memory at all, the memories of people that use Reappraisal stayed the same. The effects of people utilizing suppression were mostly negative. The Social Consequences of each approach are markedly different. The social consequences of the reappraisal approach were much more positive than those of the suppression approach. In Reappraisal there was a decrease in negative expressive behavior and it didn’t affect positive expressive behavior negatively and at times it even increased it[8] People who have utilized Suppression have been shown to exhibit lack of concern or interest in conversations and lack of responsiveness.[9] Suppressors also tended to exhibit signs linked to lying and Interpersonal Deception in that there is a containment of true feelings. While in suppression, the positive and negative expressive behavior both decreased. Another disadvantage or consequence of Suppression is it takes a lot of energy that could be used to do other things, which might cause distraction on to other things people could be concentrating on.[9] Research has shown that reappraisal is associated with increased well-being, while suppression is associated with decreased well-being. [10]

Affect As people age, their affect – the way they react to emotions – also changes, either positively or negatively. Studies show that positive affect increases as a person grows from adolescence to the mid 70s. Negative affect, on the other hand, decreases until the mid 70s. Studies also show that emotions differ in adulthood particularly affect (positive or negative). Although some studies found that affect decreases with age, this one concluded that adults in their middle age experience more positive affect and less negative affect than younger adults. Positive affect was also higher for men than women while the negative affect was higher for women than it was for men and also for single people. A reason that older people – middle adulthood – might have less negative affect is because they have overcome, "the trials and vicissitudes of youth, they may increasingly experience a more pleasant balance of affect, at least up until their mid-70s". Positive affect might rise during middle age but towards the later years of life – the 70s – it begins to decline while negative affect also does the same. This might be due to failing health, reaching the end of their lives and the death of friends and relatives.[11]

Affective chronometry In addition to baseline levels of positive and negative affect, studies have found individual differences in the time-course of emotional responses to stimuli. The temporal dynamics of emotional regulation, also known as affective chronometry, includes two key variables in the emotional response process: rise time to peak emotional response, and recovery time to baseline levels of emotion.[4] Studies of affective chronometry typically separate positive and negative affect into distinct categories, as previous research has shown (despite some correlation) the ability of humans to experience changes in these categories independently of one another.[12] Affective chronometry research has been conducted on clinical populations with anxiety, mood, and personality disorders, but is also utilized as a measurement to test the effectiveness of different therapeutic techniques (including mindfulness training) on emotional dysregulation.[13]

Exercise Exercise is a widespread method for emotional regulation that works for almost everyone.[14] Exercise has been shown to have definite cognitive effects by altering brain chemistry. Animal studies have shown that norepinephrine, a neurotransmitter involved in emotion, is altered in the frontal cortex and hippocampus after exercising. The change in norepinephrine levels in the brain due to exercise seems to have an effect on mood similar to those of antidepressants. Exercise has also been shown to help individuals deal with stress by “acting on the neurohormones that govern the stress response”.[15] This effect on the neurohormones increases one’s threshold for stress, making the stresses of life seem more manageable. The changes in brain chemistry due to exercise have important implications for the management of mental health disorders. In some instances, exercise has been shown to be more effective in the treatment of depression than medication.[15] One study that analyzed longitudinal gains over a two-month period after exercising period produced results with even more positive implications for the use of exercise in emotional regulation. After this two-month period, individuals indicated they felt less emotional distress and experienced a decrease in perceived stress. An increase in the ability to control behavior was also shown, with behaviors ranging from cigarette smoking to making appointments on time, all showing improvement.[16]

Developmental psychology The emergence of emotional regulation is a slow gradual process over the course of development. At first, the child relies heavily on mediation from external parties, such as the primary caregiver, to co-regulate his or her emotions, such as when an upset infant requires the attentive mother to calm them down. By 6 months of age,[2] researchers believe infants show the first signs of emotional self-regulation, likely as a result of "downloading", or internalizing, their caregivers' emotional regulation "programs".[17] At this age, they can self-soothe and also self-distract to avoid what has upset them. Between ages 1–2, children distract themselves from distressing stimuli by averting attention more and more. By then end of the first year, infants begin to adopt new strategies to decrease negative arousal. These strategies can include rocking themselves, chewing on objects, or moving away from things that upset them. [18][19] Toddlers this young have also been observed attempting to suppress anger or sadness by knitting their brow or compressing their lips.[20] However, one thing that toddlers find near impossible to regulate is fear.[21] As a result of this, they often find ways to express fear in a way that attracts the comfort and attention of caregivers.[22] Over the years, children increasingly manage negative emotions by talking with others and negotiating ways to resolve situations, showing sophistication in emotion regulation. Studies have shown that the development of ER is affected by the emotional regulation children observe in parents and caretakers, the emotional climate in the home, and the reaction of parents and caretakers to the child's emotions[23] For example, with preschoolers, parents (or other close companions) help teach self-regulation methods by distracting children from unpleasant events (like a vaccination shot) or helping them understand frightening events.[24][25] Regulation of emotions can also be important in the development of morality in children. An example of this can be when parents bring attention to (and try to promote) the uneasiness a child feels after they (the child) hurt somebody or break a rule. In this case, they parent wants the child to sympathize with the person to which they have caused distress while at the same time feel guilty about their actions (so that they are less likely to repeat them).[26][27] One unfortunate finding however is that children who are frequently exposed to negative emotion at home (regardless of whether it is directed at them or not) often display high levels of negative emotion which they have difficulty regulating.[28][29][30] [31] It has been suggested by some that neurological changes confer such maturity in regulation over the course of development, particularly maturation of the frontal lobes, thought to be essential for managing attention and inhibiting thoughts and behaviors.[2]

Decision making Identification of our emotional self-regulating process can facilitate in the decision making process.[32] Current literature on emotion regulation identifies that humans characteristically make efforts in controlling emotion experiences.[33] There is then a possibility that our present state emotions can be altered by emotional regulation strategies resulting in the possibility that different regulation strategies could have different decision implications.

Miniaturization of expression (in solitary conditions) In solitary conditions, emotional regulation can include a miniaturization effect, in which common outward expressive patterns are replaced with toned down versions of expression. Unlike other situations, in which physical expression (and its regulation) serve a social purpose (i.e. conforming to display rules or revealing emotion to outsiders), solitary conditions require no reason for emotions to be outwardly expressed (although intense levels of emotion can bring out noticeable expression anyway). The idea behind this is that as people get older, they learn that the purpose of outward expression (to appeal to other people), is not necessary in situations in which there is no one to appeal to.[34] As a result, the level of emotional expression can be lower in these solitary situations.