Holy Musical B@man!

Holy Musical B@man! (musical)

Holy Musical B@man!
Music	Nick Gage, Scott Lamps
Lyrics	Nick Gage, Scott Lamps
Book	Matt Lang, Nick Lang
Basis	Inspired by DC Comics's Batman
Productions	Hoover-Leppen Theatre March 22-25, Chicago

Holy Musical B@man! is a parody musical based on the superhero Batman, and his search for a friend.

Plot

Act 1

The show opens with a young Bruce Wayne watching his parents get shot. He decides that he wants to seek out evil and destroy so that what happened to him will never happen to anyone again, so he dresses up like a bat and fights crime. It is revealed that The Joker is dead.(Holy Musical B@man!). It is shown that Batman does not care for the citizens of Gotham, finding them all criminals for letting his parents die. At the 200th anniversary of Gotham, it is revealed by Commisioner Gordon that although the crime rate is at an all-time low, Gotham is still has the highest crime rate in the world. At the ceremony, Commissioner Gordon says that a special visitor from Metropolis has come to present the key to the city to Batman. It is revealed that the special visitor is Superman, and he and Batman ensue to have a race in the sky, ending up with Batman as the loser. As the citizens of Gotham laugh at Batman, he leaves in a huff. Superman decides to try to take the key off their hands, considering he is "the first hero", and that Batman isn't that great. The Citizens get angry at him, and start shooting at him because he is making fun of Batman. When Batman he make his butler, Alfred Pennyworth, get rid of the plane, as it is too slow. Alfred objects, saying it is the last thing left of his father, and they should at least send it to Spider-Man, because he could use a good plane. Batman is sad because he has no friends, except maybe Lucius Fox from work, so he decides to call him. Alfred's phone begins to ring, and it turns out that Alfred is actually Lucius Fox, and Batman's father told him in the event of anything happening to Bruce's parents, Alfred should pretend to be his butler. Batman is angry at him for lying, and fires him. Alfred leaves, and moments later comes back in a disguise as O'Malley the Irish butler. As Batman sits down, Alfred and Batman lament about his loneliness, and Superman and the Green Lantern appear, all of the superheroes wanting a friend. (Dark, Sad, Lonely Knight). Superman calls Batman, apologizing and inviting him to a battle with Solomon Grundy. The Green Lantern comes in, and they talk about how Batman isn't really a superhero. They also say that the stupidest villain to come next would be a candy themed villain. A man comes in, and excited by seeing superheroes, wants a picture, but only wants one with the Green Lantern, hurting Superman's feelings. The Green Lantern leaves, getting a call for help, and Superman is disappointed that not a lot of people want to come to the Solomon Grundy battle. Batman's enemies, including Poison Ivy, Penguin, Mr. Freeze, Catwoman, Scarecrow, and The Riddler, are hiding out, because of how Batman has been destroying them (Rogues Are We). Two-Face appears, angry at how he was not invited, and the Rogues laugh at him and send him away. As he is leaving, he bumps into an ambiguous individual, dressed in pink and blue, with a candy cane cane. The Rogues realize him to be Sweet Tooth, the newest evil villain in town, who has been killing people with candy. He takes over from Penguin, after killing Chilly Willy, and hatching a plan to kill Batman. They bring in all villains, even one with lame themes, like Evil King Arthur, Evil Mother Goose, Evil Sherlock Holmes, and Evil Huckleberry Finn (Rogues Are We (Reprise)). Batman is crying in his room when "O'Malley" tells him he has a visitor from the circus. Batman is excited until he sees it is just a little boy, Dick Grayson. The little boy turns out to be an orphan, or an orphan acrobat to be exact. Batman and Dick realize they have a lot in common, and Bruce reveals that he is Batman, and Dick says that he wants to become his sidekick, Robin. They go out and battle strange new villains, such as Calendar Man and Egghead. They find Penguin and corner him, and his last words are "Gotham still has a sweet tooth, so nobody is safe" before eating poisoned Fruit Gushers and killing himself (Dynamic Duet).

Act 2

The citizens of Gotham all agree that Robin sucks because Batman should be a loner, and they lament on how Robin doesn't wear pants (Robin Sucks). Rachel Dawes has been captured by Sweet Tooth, and Robin goes to rescue her. They both get captured by him, and Robin tries to fend them off while Rachel tries to escape. This doesn't work because Rachel gets glued to the ground by bubble gum and Robin gets knocked out. Sweet Tooth's sweetie Candy appears, and it is shown she is abused by Sweet Tooth when she uses candy puns instead of him. Back at the Wayne Manor, Batman is looking through the mail, finding a letter from Spider-Man saying that he can't take the plane off of Batman's hands. "O'Malley" tries to hide the newspaper that say ROBIN SUCKS on the front of it, but Batman sees it anyway. Batman fires "O'Malley", who comes back moments later as "Qwan Li" the Asian butler. The Bat Alarm goes off, and the video screen shows Vicki Vale explaining that Sweet Tooth has taken 3,000 people hostage in Gotham Square. They show footage of Sweet Tooth making Rachel Dawes lick a giant Sour Warhead, which makes her head implode from the tartness. Sweet Tooth exclaims that he has set up a Facebook poll, either Robin dies, or he lowers the Warhead into the water supply, imploding all of Gotham's heads when they drink water. The police force is desperately trying to rescue the hostages, only to be shot down by Evil Sherlock Holmes. Batman is enraged, and wants Alfred back. "Qwan Li", hearing this, takes off his disguise and reunites with Batman. Batman decides to choose Robin, because he thinks that Gotham will choose to kill Robin, so he leaves to take Sweet Tooth down. The citizens remember all the times other villains poisoned the water supply, and say that the choice is obvious. They read Batman's tweet that says that he is going to save Robin instead, and they are upset with their hero. The president calls on Superman to defeat Batman so he won't destroy the citizens of Gotham with his choice. Superman is torn, but realizes that it is his job to take down criminals and wrongdoers, and that is what Batman is. So Superman sets off, Batman embarks on his journey, and Sweet Tooth is ready to drop the Warhead into the water supply (The American Way). The Gotham police department is downhearted, so they decide to abandon the efforts to break down the barricade. Sweet Tooth is confident that Batman won't be able to rescue Robin, because of how well protected his fortress is. Then, the walls start to shake and there are booming noises and the Rogues remember that Sweet Tooth is new in town, so he doesn't know about the plane. As Batman starts to shoot at the Rogues, Sweet Tooth runs away with Robin. Candy and Catwoman get away, but Batman attacks the rest. A hostage tells Batman that Sweet Tooth went into the candy factory across the street. As Batman is running to it, Superman appears. In the ensuing fight, Batman brings out Kryptonite and weakens Superman, and leaves Superman lying in the street (To Be A Man). Batman confronts Sweet Tooth, but he threatens to throw Robin into a vat of boiling hot chocolate. Batman manages to save Robin and push Sweet Tooth into the vat of boiling hot chocolate, but Sweet Tooth manages to activate the Warhead launch. Robin is appalled at Batman for leaving Gotham to die, as Commissioner Gordon has a drink of water and his head implodes. Batman and Robin check the Facebook poll, and it turns out that the citizens of Gotham chose to die instead of Robin being killed. Batman and Robin go back to Superman, who flies around the world until it goes backwards (therefore back in time) and throws the Warhead into the sun. When he comes back, he calls Batman Bruce, revealing that he knows his secret identity. Everyone is excited that Batman saved the city, but Batman says that it was Superman who saved them all, and Superman, Batman, Robin, Green Lantern, and Spider-Man form the Super-Friends (Super Friends).

Cast

Batman/Bruce Wayne, Chilly Willy- Joseph (Joe) Walker Superman/Clark Kent, Evil Huckleberry Finn- Brian Holden Robin/Dick Grayson, Barack Obama, Mobster- Nick Lang Sweet Tooth, Aquaman, Joe Chill- Jeff Blim Green Lantern, Narrator, Egghead, Mobster, Scarecrow, Construction Worker, Gob- Dylan Saunders Alfred Pennyworth/Lucius Fox/ O'Malley/ Qwan Li, Two-Face- Chris Allen Commissioner Gordon, Calendar Man, Green Arrow, Evil King Arthur- Lauren Lopez Penguin, Police Chief, Thomas Wayne, Hoodie Teen- Nicholas Strauss Poison Ivy, Candy, Mobster- Jaime Lyn Beatty Mr. Freeze, Matches, Hawkman, Geek, Sour Patch Kid- Jim Povolo Evil Sherlock Holmes, Sluggers, Shopkeeper- Nico Ager Vicki Vale, Evil Mother Goose, Martha Wayne- Julia Albain Catwoman, Pizza Girl- Denise Donovan Riddler, Rachel Dawes, Hostage, Chase Meridian, TGI Fridays Worker- Meredith Stepien

Musical numbers

Act I

• "Holy Musical B@man!" – Narrator, Company
• "Dark, Sad, Lonely, Knight" – Alfred, Batman, Superman, Green Lantern, Company
• "Rogues Are We" – Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, Penguin, Riddler, Mr. Freeze, Catwoman
• "Rogues Are We (Reprise)" – Sweet Tooth, Poison Ivy, Rogues
• "Dynamic Duet" – Batman, Robin, Company

Act II

• "Robin Sucks" – Commissioner Gordon, Hoodie Teen, Vicki Vale, Pizza Girl, Construction Worker, Shopkeeper, Geeks
• "The American Way" – Superman, Batman, Sweet Tooth, Company
• "To Be A Man" – Superman, Batman, Company
• "Super Friends" – Batman, Robin, Superman, Green Lantern, Spider-Man, Compant