User:VisitingPhilosopher/Notepad

My main aim: to live in "peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations" _{~ The Meaning of Life}

Allegory of the long spoons

The allegory is a parable that shows the difference between heaven and hell by means of people eating with long spoons where on the hell side they are starving and on the heaven side they are sated.^[1]

Narrative

Rabbi Haim of Romshishok was an itinerant preacher. He traveled from town to town delivering religious sermons that stressed the importance of respect for one’s fellow man. He often began his talks with the following story:

"I once ascended to the firmaments. I first went to see Hell and the sight was horrifying. Row after row of tables were laden with platters of sumptuous food, yet the people seated around the tables were pale and emaciated, moaning in hunger. As I came closer, I understood their predicament.

"Every person held a full spoon, but both arms were splinted with wooden slats so he could not bend either elbow to bring the food to his mouth. It broke my heart to hear the tortured groans of these poor people as they held their food so near but could not consume it.

"Next I went to visit Heaven. I was surprised to see the same setting I had witnessed in Hell – row after row of long tables laden with food. But in contrast to Hell, the people here in Heaven were sitting contentedly talking with each other, obviously sated from their sumptuous meal.

"As I came closer, I was amazed to discover that here, too, each person had his arms splinted on wooden slats that prevented him from bending his elbows. How, then, did they manage to eat?

"As I watched, a man picked up his spoon and dug it into the dish before him. Then he stretched across the table and fed the person across from him! The recipient of this kindness thanked him and returned the favor by leaning across the table to feed his benefactor.

I suddenly understood. Heaven and Hell offer the same circumstances and conditions. The critical difference is in the way the people treat each other.

I ran back to Hell to share this solution with the poor souls trapped there. I whispered in the ear of one starving man, "You do not have to go hungry. Use your spoon to feed your neighbor, and he will surely return the favor and feed you."

"'You expect me to feed the detestable man sitting across the table?' said the man angrily. 'I would rather starve than give him the pleasure of eating!'

"I then understood God’s wisdom in choosing who is worthy to go to Heaven and who deserves to go to Hell." ^[2]

Interpretation

We have the opportunity to use what we are given (the long spoons in this allegory) to help nourish each other, but the problem, as Rabbi Haim astutely points out, lies in how we treat each other.

Given the same level playing field one group of people who treat each other well will create a blissful and pleasant environment. Whereas another group of people, given exactly the same tools to work with, can create a living hell simply by how they treat each other.

The parable is one of many approaches to communicating the concept of hell. From Dante's inferno to other views on purgatory.

One other example puts this in context, quoting the inscription above the gates at the entrance to hell.

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here

Hope is a knave befools us evermore
Which till I lost no happiness was mine.
I strike from hell's to grave on heaven's door:
All hope abandon ye who enter in.

-- Beckett, translation of:

L'espérance n'est qu'un charlatan qui nous trompe
sans cesse. Et pour moi, le bonheur n'a commencé
que lorsque je l'ai eu perdue. Je mettrais
volontiers sur la porte du Paradis le vers
que le Dante a mis sur celle de l'Enfer :
Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate.

-- Nicolas Chamfort

Use in conflict resolution

The long spoons allegory has become part of the folklore of several cultures, for example: Jewish^[2], Hindu^[3], Buddhist^[4], Oriental^[5] and Christian^[6]. During conflict resolution in non-Western cultures communicating difficult truths is better through a third party who can make suggestions through such stories.^[7]

Art and popular culture

While the parable itself is seldom depicted in art, it is well known and used in sermons when referring to hell, where the fashion for depicting hell in terrible, painful, gruesome terms is fading in recent times.

References

^ Wiki, Answers. ["http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_there_a_painting_depicting_the_alleagory_that_shows_the_difference_between_heaven_and_hell_by_means_of_people_eating_with_long_spoons_and_the_hell_side_starving_and_the_heaven_side_sated#ixzz1TfLAJe7g" "Summary of the long spoons parable"]. Retrieved 31-Jul-2011. {{cite web}}: Check |url= value (help); Check date values in: |accessdate= (help)
^ ^a ^b Rabbi, Haim. ["Narrative of the allegory". Citation source. Hodu. Retrieved 6-Aug-2011. {{cite web}}: Check |url= value (help); Check date values in: |accessdate= (help)
^ Lord, Shiva. "Hindu parable: A Long Handled Spoon". Swami. Retrieved 5-Aug-2011. {{cite web}}: Check date values in: |accessdate= (help)
^ Horn, Nils. Yoga Basic Knowledge and Exercises By. p. 30.
^ Peseschkian, Nossrat (1986). Oriental stories as tools in psycho therapy. Springer-Verlag. p. 26.
^ Tietze, Harald W. Happyology. The Pope tells the story of the long spoons. p. 61.
^ Swami, Vinod (1992). Conflict Mediation Across Cultures.

Wikipedia policy adherence

This to go to talk page. Notability, not intitle: "Long spoons hell"

Notability, but in books: "Long spoons hell"

START OF PROPOSED NEW SECTION - PROPOSED TEXT

Universal themes

This section lists the universal themes from relationship books, all of the themes in this list appear in all of the books. These universal themes are: Love, kindness, bonding, intimacy, communication, attachment, cheerfulness, reflectiveness and parenting.

END OF PROPOSED NEW SECTION

Approach taken to distilling the list

Using a syntopical reading approach to those secondary sources a list of the themes has been distilled with links to further references, from the most notable relationship books.

VisitingPhilosopher (talk) 23:28, 24 July 2011 (UTC)

Policy adherence notes

As a new editor on Wikipedia, I have tried to show below how this new section (text above) adheres to the Wikipedia policies which I have read. Please let me know if there are any relevant policies which I have missed. Please let me know if more detail is required in any of the policy adherence notes for this new section I am proposing to add. See the table and following sections.

Policies adhered to: WP:HOWTO WP:VER WP:NPOV WP:N WP:NEO WP:SYN WP:ADVERT WP:ESSAY WP:OPINION WP:ORIG

Policy	Checked By	Policy quote	Evidence
Shortcode	Sign Your Name Below	.	.
WP:VER	.	Verifiable sources	see here
WP:N	.	Notable	.
WP:NPOV	.	Neutral	.
WP:ORIG	.	No original research	see here
WP:ESSAY	.	No essays, no original thought or opinions.	.
WP:ADVERT	.	No adverts, no external links whatsoever, no living people quoted.	.
WP:SYN	.	No synthesis of ideas.	.
WP:HOWTO	.	No guide-like sentences	see here
WP:OPINION	.	No personal opinions	.
WP:LISTPURP	.	Acts as navigation within wikipedia and the list appears in secondary sources	.
.	.	.	.

Themes verifiability

Policy adherence notes: relationship books, all of the themes in this list appear in all of the books.

Policy adherence notes: Kindness: In surveys, when people are asked what they most desire from their intimate relationship, kindness appears as a highly prized trait sought for in a partner.^[1]

Policy adherence notes: Reflectiveness: Several terms exist for this thinking skill -

* "mentalization" - Peter Fonagy

* "meta-cognition" - Mary Main

* Six Thinking Hats "blue hat" - Edward De Bono

* "Reflective practice" - Donald Schön

* "Psychologically minded"

* "Psychological flexibility" - A.C.T.

"The whole idea of thinking about thinking is that we learn about ourselves through being understood by other people. Babies learn about their feelings by having their feelings understood by someone else." _{~ David Wallin}^[2]

Themes howto

Policy adherence notes: This section does not contain howto advice. For "how-to" guides on this subject, see [Wikihow:Maintaining-Relationships].

Themes originality

Policy adherence notes: No original research. References provided.

^ Mens Health. "Kindness in Top 5 Character Traits Women Seek In A Man". Rodale Inc. Retrieved 29-May-2011. {{cite web}}: Check date values in: |accessdate= (help)
^ Wallin, David (2009). Implications of attachment theory. mentalhelp.net. Retrieved 22-Apr-2011. {{cite book}}: Check date values in: |accessdate= (help); Cite has empty unknown parameter: |coauthors= (help)

Any feedback? let me know, thanks.

Peace and harmony

Credo - Main aim: "Peace and harmony between people of all creeds and nations" _{~ Monty Python's The Meaning of Life}, the conclusion of the film, 197x

One contribution I've made to this aim. ==> essay.

Pointing out that the scriptures held dear by all camps are actually saying the same thing Once that is acknowledged it may prove a source of peace and reconciliation, if some area of common ground can be found then this thought might influence some to think, to stand back, to re-think and to reduce their prejudices; rather than just re-arrange their prejudices.

For instance the Jewish, Christian and Muslim religions are all, at their root, Abrahamic faiths.

- Christianity was popular because it was a development of the thinking which had gone before - the Greek and Roman philosophies which had been debated and refined over the previous centuries.

Criticism

Unfortunately seeking explanations of the prejudices of Muslims vs. The West won't be found in their historic texts. For instance, both Catholics and Protestants in Northern Ireland vehemently support The Bible yet there remain many prejudices between many members of the two groups.

External links

Institute of Abrahamic Faiths, Cambridge, UK. - A centre for the study of Jewish–Christian-Muslim relations.

[summary-1] Wiki, Answers. ["http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_there_a_painting_depicting_the_alleagory_that_shows_the_difference_between_heaven_and_hell_by_means_of_people_eating_with_long_spoons_and_the_hell_side_starving_and_the_heaven_side_sated#ixzz1TfLAJe7g" "Summary of the long spoons parable"]. Retrieved 31-Jul-2011. {{cite web}}: Check |url= value (help); Check date values in: |accessdate= (help)

[allegory-2] Rabbi, Haim. ["Narrative of the allegory". Citation source. Hodu. Retrieved 6-Aug-2011. {{cite web}}: Check |url= value (help); Check date values in: |accessdate= (help)

[hindu-3] Lord, Shiva. "Hindu parable: A Long Handled Spoon". Swami. Retrieved 5-Aug-2011. {{cite web}}: Check date values in: |accessdate= (help)

[4] Horn, Nils. Yoga Basic Knowledge and Exercises By. p. 30.

[5] Peseschkian, Nossrat (1986). Oriental stories as tools in psycho therapy. Springer-Verlag. p. 26.

[6] Tietze, Harald W. Happyology. The Pope tells the story of the long spoons. p. 61.

[7] Swami, Vinod (1992). Conflict Mediation Across Cultures.

[kindness_survey_1-8] Mens Health. "Kindness in Top 5 Character Traits Women Seek In A Man". Rodale Inc. Retrieved 29-May-2011. {{cite web}}: Check date values in: |accessdate= (help)

[Implications_of_attachment_theory-9] Wallin, David (2009). Implications of attachment theory. mentalhelp.net. Retrieved 22-Apr-2011. {{cite book}}: Check date values in: |accessdate= (help); Cite has empty unknown parameter: |coauthors= (help)

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