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Talk:Phillips Exeter Academy Library/GA1

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This is an old revision of this page, as edited by Edge3 (talk | contribs) at 00:13, 4 March 2011 (initial review). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

GA Review

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Reviewer: Edge3 (talk) 23:20, 3 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Hi there! I will review this article. Edge3 (talk) 23:20, 3 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I have quite a lot of comments to make, but it doesn't look like the path to GA will be too hard at this point.

  • An infobox would be nice, but is not required.
  • I think the "History" section should be renamed "History and services", since the section also touches on the services that the library provides.
  • Per WP:WTW, please avoid the following words or phrases: renowned, widely-recognized, masterpiece, international significance (lead, para 1). State the facts! The "Recognition" section is filled with info on specific awards the library won, and the lead is supposed to provide a summary of the entire article.
    • The following phrases are also peacock terms: "nothing less than a truly outstanding contemporary design", "world's leading architects" (lead, para 2)
  • "thought by most scholars" (lead, para 3) -- You can't prove that "most" scholars believe in this way. I suggest that you just say "thought by scholars".
  • Per WP:MOS please use commas to separate the digits of large numbers. (2,000 not 2000)
  • Instead of using "richly furnished" to describe the Davis Library, give actual details of the library's furnishings, like marble floors.
  • Don't use "renowned" to describe Kahn, and add a comma after "1965".
  • "The building is widely recognized as an architectural masterpiece." -- I would remove that and use only Scully's book to reflect Exeter library's status as a widely recognized masterpiece.
  • Don't use the word "influential" to describe Scully.
  • What is the source for the paragraph beginning with "Henry Beford"?
  • "During Thomas' tenure the library's collection and programming grew to a size appropriate to a small liberal arts college." I don't see that mentioned in the "About the Library" source.
  • "making it the largest secondary school library in the world" -- I don't think two sources are necessary. And the Petersons citation needs to be formatted properly, if you decide to keep it.
  • I'm assuming that the "1914–1946" range mentioned for Dr. Perry has to do with his tenure at the school? Please make that clearer.

Reviewing the lead and "History" section is all that I have time to review at the moment. I should be able to finish the entire review within a day or two, but in the meantime I look forward to your response! Cheers, Edge3 (talk) 00:13, 4 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

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