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User:Moabdave/Admin

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This is an old revision of this page, as edited by Moabdave (talk | contribs) at 03:33, 25 January 2011 (start review of Grand Coulee dam). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

Comments Overall:

  • Suggest a scan to remove the wordy words and sentences. A few I noticed: "This was sorely disproved", "A dam of that size though would", "Washington's own governor", "Ditchers also hired" "soon afterward renamed"-> "now" or "predecessor to", Boulder Canyon Project proposal", but the results, in the form of project cost,


Lead

  • Acronym "MWAK" should be spelled out on first mention in article
  • For me there's too many words in quotations. However, I'll defer to the opinions of others. For example, does 'Third Powerbox' really need to be set apart in quotes? The caps already implies it's a formal name. BTW? Is that a proper name? Same for "low dam" and "high dam"

Background

  • "did the vast majority of the work" is a little too informal for my tastes, how about "carved most of the gorge" or something like that.
  • "Goethals briefly visited" The word 'briefly' doesn't really help. I'd suggest either to delete the word or replace with the duration.
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