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Talk:Say Say Say/GA1

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This is an old revision of this page, as edited by GaryColemanFan (talk | contribs) at 15:12, 22 March 2009 (on hold). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.
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GA Review

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This article is very well-written and is close to being a Good Article. I had a few questions and concerns, however.

Lead:

  • "McCartney's "War sessions" - "War" is not the album title, and the article on "Tug of War" doesn't mention the recording sessions being called the "War sessions". Is this an actual title for them?

Recording:

  • "for the Thriller album" - it would probably be better to specify "for Jackson's Thriller album"

Release and reception:

  • "logged Jackson sixteen weeks at the top" - is this sixteen combined weeks?
  • "The song owed its UK success to an interview with McCartney" - this part was a little confusing. It took a little while to figure it out...was the song released, somewhat popular for a little while, decling in popularity, and then propelled to number two on the charts by McCartney's interview. If so, it would help to make the sequence a little more clear. As it is now, it kind of jumps around.
  • "Top of the Pops—who usually only screened videos within the Top 40—" - a couple of things here. It seems a little strange to refer to the show as "who" instead of "which". It also looks really awkward to have a dash immediately before a comma. Perhaps parentheses could be used here: "Top of the Pops (who/which usually only screened videos within the Top 40), The Tube..."
  • "Entitled "Say Say Say (Waiting For U)", Hi-Tack, took the song..." - this has a misplaced modifier. I think what you want to say is "Hi-Tack took the song, entitled "Say Say Say (Waiting For U), to number four..."

Music video:

  • "Filmed in Santa Ynez Valley, California, McCartney had to" - this has another misplaced modifier. The video, not McCartney was filmed in Santa Ynez Valley. Perhaps "It was filmed in Santa Ynez Valley, California, and McCartney had to..."
  • "to an arm wrestle" - this is a bit awkward. I would say "to arm wrestle" or "to an arm wrestling match" (or arm wrestling contest)
  • "Upon Jackson winning the arm wrestle" - same thing here. What about "Upon Jackson winning the match" (or contest) or simply "Upon Jackson winning".
  • "earnt" - opinion is kind of split on this word. Some say it's not a word at all; others say it's just archaic. "earned" might be a better choice"
  • "the National Coalition of Television Violence classified the music video as too violent to be aired" - the description of the video doesn't sound violent at all. Am I missing something?
  • "described the video as "anarchic caper" - an anarchic caper, perhaps?
  • "the music video turns "a pair of otherwise forgettable songs..." - which other song makes up this pair?

Images:

  • The main infobox image states that it is low resolution because it is less than 500 pixels. 225 pixels x 217 pixels is almost 49,000 pixels, however. I believe the image qualifies as fair use, but I think the "less than 500px." should be removed (unless I am misunderstanding something).

I will place this nomination on hold to allow for these concerns to be addressed and/or discussed. I have both the article and this review page on my watchlist, so any comments can be left here. As I said before, there are just a few minor concerns, so I hope to be able to promote this article soon. Best wishes, GaryColemanFan (talk) 15:12, 22 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

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