Talk:Java-class cruiser/GA1

GA review

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Nominator: GGOTCC (talk · contribs) 02:18, 23 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Parsecboy (talk · contribs) 12:37, 23 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

The article was using short citations, and shouldn't have been changed per WP:CITEVAR
Several dupe links throughout the article - I recommend using User:Evad37/duplinks-alt to locate them

File:H.M. Java 1935-5 in Nederlands Indië.jpg - this needs to be vetted through OTRS if we're going to accept the uploader's claim
- Does OTRS mean the Volunteer Response Team? Is there something they can do regarding the images? I have not heard of them before.
File:Hr. Ms. Sumatra VRIJ.jpg - we need the author to be able to determine when the photo entered the public domain. We also need to know how this is PD in the US (which would generally mean we need to see a pre-1930 date of publication)
- @KarelDoorman: I have seen you cite Schepen van de Koninklijke Marine in W.O. II before. Could you check to see if this image is in the book/if the image is credited to someone?

"6.1 m (20 ft 0 in)" - fix the rounding
Boilers generate power, they don't consume it, so those should be listed in the Installed power field
"10 × Bofors 15.0 cm (5.9 in)" - fix the rounding
"7.5 cm (3.0 in) belt" - fix the rounding

"Both ships saw action during World War II. Java was in the East Indies when war broke out." - when? Don't assume readers know specifically when you're talking about
"Sumatra was in the Netherlands when the country was invaded by Germany," - also, when? And why is this after the bit about Java, given that it was well over a year earlier?
"and sunk as a breakwater off Normandy." - again, when?

Armed with ten Bofors Mk Six 15 cm (5.9 in) in single mounts" - 15 cm what?
More rounding issues here (same as above, but also "5.0 cm (2.0 in)" in a couple of places)
"three turbines supplied by 8 boilers" - all should be spelled out or numerals in the same sentence
link belt armor, funnel (ship), bulkhead (partition), conning tower, gun shield, flagship, ship commissioning
"The design of De Ruyter formed the basis of the De Zeven Provinciën-class cruiser, intended to replace the older Javas sometime during the 1940s.[4]: 36–37 " - this is not exactly relevant to this article.

Wait, were the ships armed with Krupp guns or Bofors? The characteristics section only mentions Bofors, but then here we see mention of eight Krupp guns (I assume 15 cm SK L/45?)
Did speed and/or endurance change for Sumatra?
- I don't think so? I can check my books again
203 mm (8.0 in) - fix rounding
Link ceremonial ship launching

"3 twin 4 cm (1.6 in) Bofors guns, while Java had two." - as above, "3" and "two" should be parallel

"At the start of World War II" - when? Do you mean 1939? Or more likely, 1941? If the latter, you should reword, since WWII had of course already been going on for 2 years
"allied" - capitalize
Link Dutch East Indies campaign, Battle of Java (1942)
"When a Japanese torpedo struck her stern, her aft magazine detonated and the ship was ripped apart, and sank in about 15 minutes with most of her crew." - this is clunky and should probably be split

"Netherlands was invaded by Nazi Germany" - invert the order to avoid passive voice
"enemy raiders" -> "enemy surface commerce raiders" (assuming she wasn't being sent out to hunt U-boats

- @Parsecboy: Thank you for taking a look at my article, I appreciate such an experienced editor helping out! I incorporated most of your feedback, but could you elaborate on what you mean regarding the rounding issues? Should the values round up, down, or cut off unnecessary decimal values? Regarding the citations, I thought I was in the clear since I rewrote the prose. Would you like me to redo them? GGOTCC 18:35, 23 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]