Cascade Model of Relational Dissolution

The Cascade Model of Relational Dissolution (also known as Gottman's Four Horsemen) is a relational communications theory that proposes four critically negative behaviors that lead to the breakdown of marital and romantic relationships. The model is the work of psychological researcher John Gottman, a professor at the University of Washington and founder of The Gottman Institute, and his research partner, Robert W. Levenson. This theory focuses on the negative influence of verbal and nonverbal communication habits on marriages and other relationships. Gottman's model uses a metaphor that compares the four negative communication styles that lead to a relationship's breakdown to the biblical Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, wherein each behavior, or horseman, compounds the problems of the previous one, leading to total breakdown of communication.

Background

Gottman's and Levenson's research focuses on differentiating failed and successful marriages and notes that nonverbal emotional displays progress in a linear pattern, creating an emotional and physical response that leads to withdrawal. Until the development of the model (1992-1994), little research had been conducted on specific interactive behaviors and processes that result in marital dissatisfaction, separation, and divorce. Gottman's and Levenson's research indicated that not all negative interactions, like anger, are predictive of relational separation and divorce. But it shows a strong correlation between the presence of contempt in a marriage and the couple's likelihood of divorce.

Gottman's and Levenson's research notes that the "cascade toward relational dissolution" can be predicted by the regulation of couples' positive and negative interactions, with couples that regulate their positive-to-negative interactions significantly less likely to experience the cascade. This research has been furthered by looking at ways to intervene in the cascade, and its application to other types and models of relationships.

Four Horsemen of Relational Apocalypse

Gottman's and Levenson's Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse theory centers around the concept that the behaviors below work in a cascade model, in which one leads to the other, creating a continued environment of negativity and hostility. This creates marital dissatisfaction, leading to considerations of marital dissolution, separation, and permanent dissolution.

Horseman One: criticism

Criticism is the first indication of the Cascade Model and is an attack on the partner's character. Gottman defines criticism as a type of complaint that blames or attacks a partner's personality or character. Critical comments often materialize in chained comments and are communicated in broad, absolute statements like "‘you never’" or "you always".’ Research indicates that non-regulated couples, or couples whose interaction trended more negative, engaged more frequently in criticism and were more likely to begin the Cascade of Dissolution. Gottman's and Levenson's research found that wives' criticism correlated to separation and possible dissolution, but this was not so with husbands.

One possible solution to avoiding criticism is to grow the culture in a marriage to include a well-held vulnerability. This means that those in the marriage should feel safe enough to express their opinions and frustrations without fear of rejection. Criticism does not allow partners to be vulnerable with each other, and their relationship can quickly deteriorate as a result. One may consider using more "I" statements and expressive language in order to overcome criticism. An example of an "I" statement is: "When I am feeling frustrated, I tend to become more irritable and begin to hyper-focus on your flaws to blame someone for my negative feelings". "I" statements allow a spouse to take responsibility for their feelings rather than blaming the other spouse for their perspective and emotional reactions. They build emotional intelligence, self-reflection, and help prevent cycles of criticism and defensiveness.

More examples:

"All you do is sit and scroll on your phone. I feel that you don't care about me." --> "I feel disconnected when you are on your phone. I need us to make time for each other."

"You never help with anything." --> "I'm overwhelmed in this current environment. I need your help."

"It's always about what you want to do." --> "I feel voiceless when you don't ask my opinion. I need to have an input in this partnership."

Solution: Soft Start-Up: Talk about your feelings using "I" statements and express a positive need.

Horseman Two: defensiveness

Defensiveness is a reaction to pervasive criticism that often results in responding to criticism with more criticism, and sometimes contempt, and the second level of the Cascade Model. Defensiveness is a protective behavior and is indicated by shifting blame and avoiding responsibility, often in an attempt to defend against the first two horsemen. Defensiveness stems from an internal response to protect one's pride and self-worth. The body may go into fight-or-flight mode to protect against a perceived threat in the defensive stage. Fowler and Dillow also characterize defensiveness as using counterattack behaviors such as whining, making negative assumptions about the other's feelings, and denials of responsibility. Gottman's and Levenson's research found defensiveness to be strongest among men.

Solution: Accept Responsibility: Accept your partner's perspective and offer an apology for any wrongdoing.

Horseman Three: Contempt

Contempt is the result of repetitive criticism and is driven by a lack of admiration and respect. It is the third level of the Cascade Model. Contempt is expressed verbally through mocking, name calling, sarcasm, and indignation, with an attempt to claim moral superiority over one's partner. It can also be indicated nonverbally, as with eye-rolling and scoffing. Gottman's and Levenson's research found contempt to be the strongest predictor of relational dissolution, and the strongest overall predictor for women.

Solution: Build a Culture of Appreciation: Remind yourself of your partner's positive qualities and find gratitude for positive actions.

Horseman Four: stonewalling

Stonewalling is the final phase of the model and is a reaction to the previous three behaviors. Stonewalling occurs when parties create mental and physical distance to avoid conflict by appearing busy, responding in grunts, and disengaging from the communication process. It may be done with the intent of creating anxiety, leading to the stonewalled partner to beg for forgiveness. Gottman's and Levenson's research found it to be most common among men and a very challenging behavior to redirect once it becomes habitual.

Solution: Physiological Self-Soothing: Take a break and spend that time doing something soothing and distracting.

Gottman's research in predicting divorce

Predicting divorce / couple separation and how divorce can be avoided

Gottman and his team did more extensive research in follow-up to this study, testing whether or not couples who exhibited these “horseman” were more or less likely to divorce. In a longitudinal study, Gottman and his team were able to predict with 93% accuracy how many couples would divorce from their observations.

They found that those couples who ended up separating had the following attributes in their marriage:

• Harsh Startup: in arguments or disagreements, those couples who participated in harsh startups were those who begin an argument with great aggression, refused to see another's point of view, or brought issues up at inappropriate times.
• The Four Horsemen: as above.
• Emotional Flooding: this condition occurs when one partner feels overwhelmed and their brain begins to protect itself by shutting down. They physically and mentally cannot process any more what the other is saying. This may lead to the person who is not flooded to think the flooded person is not listening or does not care, when in fact, their system has been overwhelmed. This may occur when one partner brings up a controversial topic or points out many flaws in another in a short period of time.
• Body Language: whether the couple is sending mixed messages, participating in a double-bind kind of thinking, or sending hostile nonverbal cues, destruction occurs.
• Repair Attempts that were not accepted: a repair attempt is anything that one partner does to try to bring the relationship back into control. This could be de-escalation tactics, bringing up something about which you both stand on common ground about, or even an inside joke. These attempts, when accepted and acted upon, encourage intimacy and affection in a marriage and allow the situation to deescalate. Those who do not participate in this tactic will have a greater likelihood of an argument or fight escalating out of control.
• A Negative View on their marriage and their overall happiness together: Gottman found that those in the study who ended up divorcing or having low marital satisfaction thought about landmarks in their marriages as negative. The landmark moments that most people think of with fondness, such as their engagement, wedding, reception, birth of a child, etc., were almost all met with criticism from those in unhappy marriages. These people had trained their brain that their partner had never met their needs and there had never been happiness in their relationship.
• Belligerence: Bad couples will sometimes try to provoke the other party with statements like "You think you're tough? Then do it!"
• Gridlock: ongoing disagreements that don't get resolved. Some signs of gridlock include:
  • the conflict makes you feel rejected by your partner
  • you keep talking about the issue but make no headway
  • you both feel entrenched in your positions and are unwilling to budge
  • when discussing the subject, you end up feeling more frustrated and hurt
  • your conversations about the problem are devoid of humor, amusement, or affection
  • you have disengaged emotionally from one another

Methodology and regulated vs. non-regulated couples

Behavioral coding systems methodology

Gottman and Levenson's primary research for this model, published in the 1990s, centered around utilizing a variety of measures, in combination, to study the conflict interactions amongst married couples. Gottman and Levenson physiological information garnered by polygraphs, EKGs, and pulse monitoring and behavioral information collected via survey and video recording. Information collected by video was coded using the Rapid Couples Interaction Scoring System (RCISS), the Special Affect Coding System (SPAFF), and the Marital Coding Information System (MCIS). RCISS consists of a thirteen-point speaker behavior and a nine-point listener checklist, which can be broken down into five positive and eight negative codes. The SPAFF is "a cultural informant coding system" which considers: verbal content, tone, and context; facial expression, movement, and gestures; and body movement. MCIS is the oldest and most widely used affect coding system, but is not as specific as others and is generally used in addition to other methods.

Regulated and nonregulated couples

Information obtained from the RCISS and SPAFF analysis lead to the formation of the idea of regulated and non-regulated couples. Gottman and Levenson defined nonregulated couples as more prone to conflict engaging behaviors, while regulated couples tend to engage in more constructive, positive communicative behaviors. It is noted that not all nonregulated couples exhibit all negative affective behaviors, nor do all regulated couples exhibit all positively affected behaviors. Gottman and Levenson proposed that maintaining marriage stability is not about the exclusion of negative behavior, but about maintaining a positive-to-negative comment ratio of around 5:1.

The marital typology

Gottman's research indicates that there are five types of marriages: three of which are stable and avoid entering the Cascade Model, and two that are volatile. All of the three stable couple types achieve a similar balance between positive and negative affect; however, this does not mean that negative interactions or communication is eliminated.

Stable couple typologies

Validators

This couple mixes moderate amounts of positive and negative affect. This model is the preferred model of marital counselors and is a more intimate approach focused on shared experiences; however, romance may disappear over time. These couples engage in reduced persuasion attempts and do not attempt to persuade until a third of the conflict has elapsed.

Volatiles

This couple type mixes high amounts of positive and negative affect. These marriages tend to be quite "romantic and passionate, but [have] the risk of dissolving into endless bickering." These couples engage in high levels of persuasion from the beginning of a conflict.

Avoiders

This couple type mixes small amounts of positive and negative affect. This type of marriage avoids the pain associated with conflict, but risks loneliness and emotional distance. These couples make very few, if any, attempts to persuade each other.

Volatile couple typologies

Hostile

Hostile marriages often see the husband influence both positively and negatively, but the wife only influences by being positive. In general, "the wife is likely to seem quite aloof and detached to the husband, whereas he is likely to seem quite negative and excessively conflictual to her."

Hostile-detached

These relationships tend to display a significantly higher rate of contempt and defensiveness. Hostile-detached marriages see the husband influence both positively and negatively, but the wife only influences by being negative. In these cases, "the husband is likely to seem quite aloof and detached to the wife, whereas she is likely to seem quite negative and excessively conflictual to him."

Mismatch theory

This theory proposes that "hostile and hostile-detached couples simply fail to create a stable adaptation to marriage that is either volatile, validating, or avoiding." The belief is that marital instability arises from a couples inability to accommodate one-another's preferences and create one of the three types of marriage.

Interventions and therapeutic strategies

Proximal change interventions

Gottman and Tabres research on proximal change interventions attempts to interrupt the negative communications process by creating chances for positive influence to help alter relational dynamics and alter or repair damage done by the cascade. Two interventions were implemented, a "compliments intervention" and a "criticize intervention" design to increase positivity and negativity respectively. Groups were randomly assigned one of the two intervention conditions or a control group.

There was no main effect in affect from the pretest conflict discussion to the posttest conflict discussion between the interventions or control group. However, a manipulation check on how couples acted during either intervention produced a significant interaction effect.

The research indicated that couples determined the effectiveness of the interventions, as many non-regulated couples who have entered the Cascade Model will "construe" interventions by coding them into criticisms and/or by communicating with contempt. The effectiveness of these interventions is contingent on the continued facilitation and monitoring of interventions by therapists.

Avoidance and anxiety attachment

Researchers Fowler and Dillow note that avoidance attachment can be predictive of defensiveness and stonewalling whereby an individual is reluctant to depend on others. Those with avoidance attachment may also struggle to regulate negative emotions and be prone to lashing out at partners. Fowler and Dillow hypothesized that avoidance attachment can be predictive through self-reports of criticism, contempt and defensiveness; however, research finding indicated that avoidance attachment was only predictive of stonewalling.

Fowler and Dillow noted that anxiety attachment, characterized by over-dependence, flooding, and fear of rejection, will also predict criticism, contempt, and defensiveness as those who exhibit anxiety attachment tend to become self-fulfilling prophecies.

Flooding

Flooding occurs when strong negative emotions are present within exchanges between individuals. It causes individuals to feel overwhelmed and can lead to destructive communication such as name calling and criticism. Oftentimes, individuals express that their partner's negative emotions come out of nowhere and therefore they will do what they feel is necessary to retreat from the negativity.

Individuals may begin to adopt behaviors that discourage effective communication such as becoming defensive and generating negative qualities for their partner's behavior. Symptoms may include adrenaline pumping, an inability to focus on the issue, non-responsiveness to your partner's questions or commentary, tunnel-vision/hearing, rapid and shallow breathing, either/or thinking, tense and tight muscles, a dry mouth, and feeling hot, shaky, sweaty, flushed. Further, marital satisfaction has been shown to decrease over time as couples are more aroused during conflict. This in turn causes a destructive loop of higher frequencies of flooding as well as an increase in self-isolation and destructive communication patterns.

To combat flooding, couples could try to take breaks during conflict and reconvene at an agreed time. It is recommended that couples take breaks that are at least 20 minutes long but not more than 24 hours. It is important to give oneself at least 20 minutes to calm down, as the major sympathetic neurotransmitter norepinephrine can take 20 minutes or more to be diffused through the bloodstream. Doing this has proved to reduce heart rates, which in turn, reduces negative behaviors. Another way to reduce flooding is to resolve conflicts through text-based or voice communication instead of face to face. It also helps to mentally store a picture of your partner at their best in order to reintegrate a more balanced view of your partner. This may allow individuals to regulate their emotions with more control.

Here is a flooding questionnaire for couples:

• What typically happens just before you start to feel flooded?
• Are there particular words, actions, or topics that seem to "trigger" you to flood?
• What would allow you to stay in an intense conversation without flooding?
• How are upsetting topics introduce into conversations?
• Does either of you bring up these subjects in a harsh way?
• Are there ways that either of you could introduce these subjects so that you might stay calmer?
• Do either of you tend to "store up" problems and try to deal with them all at once?
• Can you do a better job of handling your problems one at a time?
• What can you do to soothe yourself when you feel irritable, scared, or angry?
• What can you do to soothe each other?
• What signals can you develop for when either of you feels flooded?
• Do you take breaks during conflict?
• What can you do during these breaks to calm down?
• How do you make sure that you get back to the problem later on?
• How can you conclude a discussion of a currently unresolved issue with a sense of reaching a temporary solution? What would this take from you and your partner?

Gottman method couples therapy

Research into Gottman method couples therapy has been of poor quality and is insufficient to consider the therapy as evidence-based despite its popularity.

Some practices to maintain a thriving relationship include building a culture of appreciation and respect, discussing expectations to avoid misunderstanding, developing Rituals of Connection, attuning to your partner, establishing a regular Stress-Reducing Conversation, and accepting and giving forgiveness.

Attuning can be interpreted as an acronym that stands for

• Awareness of your partner's emotions
• Turning towards the emotion
• Tolerance of two different viewpoints
• Trying to Understand your partner
• Non-defensive responses to your partner
• Responding with Empathy

Gottman also wrote a book called The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. These are the seven principles:

1. Enhance your love maps
   1. You know your partner's inner world, from life dreams to favorite movies, as a best friend would.
2. Nurture your fondness and admiration
3. Turn toward each other instead of away
   1. State your needs, be aware of bids for connection, and turn towards them.
4. Let your partner influence you
   1. Don't make important life decisions autonomously.
5. Solve your solvable problems
   1. All couples have solvable and perpetual problems, but long-term couples solve those they can and understand there will always be perpetual problems.
6. Overcome Gridlock
   1. What often underlies perpetual problems are unfulfilled dreams. Talk about those dreams with the goal of making peace with the problem.
7. Create shared meaning
   1. Develop the big and small rituals that help build the bond with your partner. Rituals change from hosting an annual party to having coffee together in the morning.

Criticisms

Gottman has been criticized for claiming that his Cascade Model can predict divorce with over a 90% accuracy. Additionally, researcher Stanley Scott and his colleagues noted that Gottman's highly publicized research findings from 1998, which recommended significant shifts in focus and application for marital educators and therapists, including the de-emphasis of anger management and active listening, has several flaws. Among the concerns raised, the most significant are methodological, including Gottman and his fellow researchers not providing justification for the nonrandom selection of participants, not controlling for cultural impacts, and flaws in physiological impact analysis. Concerns were also raised about the methods for observational data collection and the ambiguity of statistics tests used. Stanley's findings indicate that, while Gottman's findings are interesting, there are too many unexplained methods and that additional research is needed before the overhauling Gottman's suggested.