How to Defend Yourself

How to Defend Yourself
Written by	Liliana Padilla
Date premiered	March 13, 2019 (2019-03-13)
Place premiered	Actors Theatre of Louisville
Original language	English
Subject	Self-defense Sexual assault Campus sexual assault

How to Defend Yourself is a 2019 play by Liliana Padilla. The play was produced by the Actors Theatre of Louisville in 2019 and Victory Gardens Theater in Chicago in 2020. It premiered Off-Broadway at New York Theatre Workshop in 2023. The play was the winner of the 2019 Yale Drama Series Prize.

Synopsis

In a college gym, sorority leader Brandi leads a self-defense workshop, organized in response to the recent sexual assault of sorority sister Susannah. As the students learn the tenets of fending off attacker and how not to "be a victim", they begin to channel their own rage, anxieties, trauma, confusion, and desires.

Summary

Scene 1

Two college students, Mojdeh and Diana, arrive at a gym for a self-defense workshop organized by Brandi, the VP of the Zeta Chi sorority, and Kara, the sisterhood chair. Over the course of the scene, it is revealed the class was organized in response to the violent rape of a sorority sister named Susannah, who is Kara's best friend and currently in the hospital. Diana seeks an outlet for her fighting spirit, while Mojdeh, who is trying to come into her own at college through dating and social climbing, hopes to use the class to get herself into Zeta Chi. A third student, Nikki, arrives, and quickly proves to be the shyest of the group. Brandi leads the group in a punching exercise, but Nikki becomes overwhelmed, and relates a story about an unpleasant sexual experience she had, stopping short of calling it non-consensual. Brandi pushes Nikki to recognize it as assault, but Kara and Diana, who are sexually experienced, try to reassure Nikki by brushing it off as a common experience. Mojdeh, who is less-so, nervously plays along.

Scene 2

During the next session, two Alpha Epsilon fraternity members, Andy and Eggo, arrive, having been invited by Brandi. The boys' presence in the class bothers some of the girls because Susannah’s rapists, Tom and Spencer, were from Alpha Epsilon. Brandi tries to lead the group in a consent workshop, but the discussion derails as the various members offer differing opinions on the usefulness of typical consent language: Kara expresses a desire to be "used" during sex, while Eggo relates issues communicating desire with sexual partners. Brandi and Kara argue over Kara’s behavior after class, with Kara accusing Brandi of leaving Susannah alone at the party.

Scene 3

The next day, Mojdeh tells an elaborate story of her date with another student, involving them showering together and him treating her well, only to find that “it didn’t fit” when they tried to have sex. After the others leave the room, however, Mojdeh admits to Diana that she mostly lied about the date, and that it was actually humiliating. As she goes on about how no one will desire her in college, Diana kisses her. Mojdeh rejects Diana, claiming she is not attracted to her.

Scene 4

On another day, Andy and Eggo warm up while discussing Susannah. Eggo admits he watched the video of the assault, while Andy reveals he may have witnessed it but did not intervene as he did not realize at the time it was rape, which still bothers him. Kara arrives hungover, having blacked out at an Alpha Epsilon party, and refuses to participate in that day's class. After the workshop, Mojdeh blows off Diana to go home with Andy. Brandi refuses to let Kara come to the hospital to visit Susannah, upset at her behavior. Both abandoned by their friends, Kara mocks Brandi's discomfort over sex to Diana and goads her to hit her, physically attacking her until she reluctantly does so. Kara breaks down and admits that she was the one who encouraged Susannah to sleep with Spencer after she herself had rough sex with him, questioning if she gave him permission to rape Susannah. Diana comforts her, telling her it is "not that hard to[...] not rape someone."

Scene 5

The next day, Eggo dances in the gym and shows an unusual amount of comfort with his body, impressing Kara when she walks in on him. Diana tells Kara and Eggo about her recent trip to a gun range, admitting while it was fun, she did not really like the experience. Brandi returns and she and Kara reconcile as she gives an update on Susannah's condition. Brandi tries to start the workshop, but they are interrupted by Nikki running in. Nikki reveals she was stalked and attacked by a man on campus, and she tried to use the self-defense techniques but none of them worked as he was still much larger and stronger than her. She storms out of the gym, claiming nothing they learned works. As the other classmates leave to check on her, Brandi tries to defend the class and what they are learning, but struggles to find the words to justify her reasoning as she begins to break down over her own repressed sexual trauma.

In a final, surreal sequence, flashbacks of the cast attending parties in college, high school, and middle school are shown, before a final flashback of an elementary school birthday party, where a six year-old Susannah, played by a young child, makes a wish.

Productions

How to Defend Yourself was first presented at the Wagner New Play Festival 2018 at University of California, San Diego while Padilla was pursuing their playwriting MFA, in a production directed by Kim Rubenstein running from May 11 to May 17. It premiered at the Humana Festival of New American Plays at the Actors Theatre of Louisville in 2019, directed by Marti Lyons and running from March 13 to April 7. It then played at Chicago's Victory Gardens Theater from January 24 to February 23, 2020, again directed by Lyons in a co-production with the Actors Theatre of Louisville.

The play will premiere Off-Broadway at New York Theatre Workshop in 2023, with previews beginning February 22 prior to a March 13 opening, with the production scheduled for a limited run to April 2. The production is co-directed by Padilla, Rachel Chavkin, and Steph Paul, who previously served as the movement director for the Actors Theatre and Victory Gardens productions.

Characters and original cast

Role	UC San Diego (2018)	Humana Festival (2019)	Victory Gardens (2020)	Off-Broadway (2023)
Diana	Fedra Ramirez	Gabriela Ortega	Isa Arciniegas	Gabriela Ortega
Mojdeh	Ariana Mahalatti
Nikki	Molly Adea		Andrea San Miguel	Amaya Braganza
Brandi	Andrea Van Den Boogaard	Anna Crivelli		Talia Ryder
Kara	Mary Rose Branick	Abby Leigh Hufstettler	Netta Walker	Sarah Marie Rodriguez
Andy	Garrett Schulte	David Ball	Ryan McBride	Sebastian Delascasas
Eggo	Trevor Rinzler	Jonathan Moises Olivaires	Jayson Lee
Susannah	Does not appear	Phoenix Gilmore	Unknown	Teagan Meredith

• Diana – 18, a Mexican-American student and the childhood best friend of Mojdeh. Obsessed with guns, and never afraid to go first. She loves confrontation except when she is the one who has made a mistake. She has a promiscuous sexual history, which puts her in conflict with the less-experienced Mojdeh.
• Mojdeh – 18, an Iranian-American student who is desperate to lose her virginity and get into a sorority. She desires being wanted, and looks to others to know what is cool.
• Nikki – 20, person of color, a wallflower with a vivid inner world. Over the course of the class, she begins to find her strength, but her boldness soon leads her to danger.
• Brandi – 21, white, the vice president of the sorority and a valedictorian, with a black belt in karate. She is obsessed with self-defense and never feeling vulnerable, heavily implied to be due to some past sexual trauma.
• Kara – 21, person of color, the sisterhood chair of the sorority and Susannah's best friend. She maintains an air of humor and wit, but hides her own guilt over events that may have led to Susannah's rape.
• Andy – 21, white, a varsity athlete and leader in the Alpha Epsilon fraternity. He can be insensitive, but he is earnest in his efforts to fight rape culture.
• Eggo – 20, person of color, a fraternity member who is confused by consent culture and terrified of rejection.
• Susannah – The largely unseen victim whose sexual assault sets off the events of the play. She only appears at the end, aged 6.

Reception

The Victory Gardens production was received warmly by Chicago theater critics. Chris Jones of the Chicago Tribune praised the play for dealing with a charged topic through complex characters, noting the show's ultimately optimistic tone despite its dark subject matter. Sheri Flanders writing for the Chicago Sun-Times described the play as "thoughtfully written", noting its focus on community reactions to sexual assault as opposed to the perpetrator and victim.