Carrot Top (Komiker)

2008-09-22T13:34:44Z

ExampleOfHumanBeing: Undid revision 240191509 by 124.183.97.254 (talk)

<nowiki>Insert non-formatted text here</nowiki>[[Image:Regis and carrot top.jpg|thumb|325px|'''The beautiful couple''', on the day of their blessed union.]]
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[[Image:carrottop.jpg|thumb|The Carrot Top singularity, as depicted by an illustrator. You can spot the black hole in the middle of it.]]
[[Image:carrottop(1).jpg|thumb|Carrot Top, working out to rape you in your sleep.]]

{{q|I love you. I'm just not in love with you.|Carrot Top|your goddamn feet}}
{{q|Fuck off.|[[Oscar Wilde]]|Carrot Top}}
'''Carrot "Lettuce" Top''', is an American dramatist and was once a god to the Babylonian people. He is a [[singularity]] in the Uncyclopedia world. This is because he is so weird that you cannot say anything funny about him. Also, we have not figured out yet whether it's a man or a woman. Probably both.

Come on: try to mock Carrot Top. What can you say that hasn't been already said? Ugly? Already done. Boring? Said too many times. Gay? Definitely ... that's the rumor, anyway, I wouldn't know first hand because I like girls, I swear. Love child of Chris Evans and Geri Halliwell? Damn straight! Freak? Pervert? Scary? Check, check and checkmate. As you can see, nobody can make fun of Carrot Top since he has managed to make such a ridicule of himself, that somehow, it collapsed absorbing all the [[ridiculousness]] around him.

From a quantic point of view, Carrot Top resembles a [[black hole]]. With the sole difference that he doesn't look black or hollow. However, professor [[Stephen Hawking]] has said the following about Carrot Top:

'''''"kjshdkjheeeeeeeeeeeeeeendnllllllllll sorry, my cat was walking over the keyboard.
'''''Ah, Carrot Top. He is black and hollow. It seems to be white, but the colour is given by the small amounts of light that is generated when ridiculousness tries to escape the ''Carrot'' ''Top Weird Gravity Field''. We have calculated that if we send an astronaut near Carrot Top, time will seem to expand to infinity. That's not related to relativity, but to the fact that any person put near Carrot Top will bore itself to death, making them feel as if time were eternal."'''''

Carrot Top's collapse into a singularity of 4-dimensional "LaughTime" was rumored to be triggered by his divorce from Carrot Bottom.

[[Image:CarrotTop.jpg|right|thumb|This guy was actually the shittiest actor in "Pauly Shore is Dead". That should count for something.]]

===Trivia===
* Despite selling out shows, Carrot Top has never made anyone laugh, ever. He is extremely odd.
* 15=73+89=67 is the symbol of Carrot Tops' giant squid master, Oogaboogah.
* Carrot Top enjoys baking bread in his spare time
* Carrot Top is the Founder and only member of "Squids for the Preservation of Orange Ginger" society.
* Carrot Top is a great source of beta carotene. Too bad nobody would ever put him in their mouth.
* Carrot Top took up bodybuilding in 2001. He now considers himself the worlds strongest platypus.
* Close friend of [[George Lucas (nobody)|George Lucas]]
* He died on Friday, March 16th, 2007 with [[Elliot CasaKA-BOOM!!!]] by his side...
* Carrot Top is the mastermind behind Uncyclopedia, which would explain why it isn't funny. At all.
*Carrot Top had been known, while on the road, to eat 10-14 candles before each show.
* Carrot Top is, in fact, a big, ghoulish woman. (Trivia point two reference.) This case was made at the Roast of Flavor Flav.
* Carrot Top is quoted on the business cards of the Bunny Ranch (Nevada Brothel) "These girls love Carrot sticks."
* One of the newest phobias identified in the DSM IV is the fear of running into Carrot Top in a dark alley and not being able to kick his carrot ass. CarrottNoAssKickPhobia is further enhanced by Carrot Top appearances such as those on the Roast of Flavor Flav or Mindfreak where the Red-headed terror wears tight fitting or sleeveless shirts. As the phobia grows support groups may be popping up in major metropolitan areas.
* Carrot Top is also known as the king of all gingers, and their top warrior, or the "Arch Ginger".
*Carrot Top is currently the Most Wanted Comedian, by the samurai, who are hell bent on finding him so that they can slit his throat to rid the world of his ridiculous propoganda. He has eluded the samurai for several hundred years, mostly by assorting with known ninja. The ninja's also taught him to master disguises, and Carrot Top is rumored to have escaped the hands of the samurai on several accounts by cleverly disguising himself as a transvestite and sleeping with the samurai before disappearing into the night. Because Carrot Top has developed the ability make himself invisible (a must since he has to go out in public) there is some speculation as to the necessity of Carrot Top's decision to sleep with samurai.

==See Also==
*[[Not funny]]
*[[Einstein]]
*[[Regis Philbin]]

{{Role models}}
[[Category:Botany]]
[[Category:Firecrotches]]
[[Category:People with mad hair]]
[[Category:Transsexuals]]
[[Category:Things Banned By NATO]]
[[Category:Redheads]]
[[Category:People Magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People 2007]]
[[Category:Animals that deserve to be Extinct]]

Wikipedia - Benutzerbeiträge [de]

Carrot Top (Komiker)